Construction costs are currently skyrocketing

So we currently have €5200 net and of that, €1800 is currently going into the installment, €1000 into special repayments/savings, and probably another €500 into current projects, e.g. garden, paths, finishing the interior... So overall, we are currently probably spending about €3300 per month on the house and actually continue to live quite normally and well with the remaining €1900. I think many can still manage a €2200 installment. But maybe I am mistaken. Or the rude awakening happens once children are there.

That is not little. I have just started working again, only part-time. That already costs us something, just as the child itself costs quite a bit. That is always greatly underestimated, and the child is still a toddler now. We had a low installment but many additional costs. Utilities, reserves, fuel costs, insurance, etc. In the end, there was only €1000 left. Sure, that works, but saving for vacations or further projects on the house is almost impossible. Writing this makes me somehow glad that it didn't work out. We will live more relaxed in the future and there will be more money left for other things.

But what use is a better-paying job if the extra salary is eaten up by higher living costs!? I have been through the game: my wife and I decided to move our residence from Hamburg to Saxony-Anhalt for good reason. Both of us earn slightly less here than we would have in Hamburg. However, rents here in SA were 5-7 €/sqm, the roll from the local bakery 0.55 €, and a piece of cake 1.40-1.90 €. I was in Hamburg again over Easter: 2.95 € for a piece of strawberry cake.
And real estate anyway! My personal opinion: better a detached property in Saxony-Anhalt for 300,000 € than a terraced house in Hamburg for 600,000 €. With the monthly costs saved, I’d rather fly to Italy more often during the year, go to a restaurant twice a week, or buy the 4th or 5th Rolex (as an investment).
I am aware that this is not feasible for everyone. But sometimes you have to turn priorities upside down or reorient yourself when the circumstances get worse. Not everyone here supports the AfD, and we certainly don't live behind the moon.

It always has to be the desired dream house in the desired location at all costs. Compromises are rarely accepted.

More than 30% for housing is certainly possible depending on income – up to 40% for high incomes is also sometimes mentioned. The background of these "rules" is simply job security and the risk that if one of the two earners fails, the mortgage is at risk. Because then the installment can no longer be managed and the reserves are quickly depleted.

I also always find these percentages difficult. Living on 30% of €8000 is easier than living on 30% of €3000. Most people know that, but some also like to suppress it.

I actually don’t think the 5000 is that bad from the bank. You have to see that they entered into a binding contract. The bank also incurs processing costs as a result. Given the current interest rate development, they probably aren’t missing out on any profit, but they do have to sell the money again first, plus there are prepayment penalties regulated by contract, the 5k is probably below that? But only the OP probably knows that.

In fact, the contract does not specify any percentage or anything similar. For some, the 5000€ might be a lot, I had almost expected four times that and am therefore just glad. It’s all a matter of perspective :D

I have finished the game: not without reason did my wife and I decide to move our residence from Hamburg to Saxony-Anhalt.

Now I "had to" register as a silent reader...

Because we acted similarly last year. After unsuccessfully looking around for over three years in the Aschaffenburg area (FFM catchment area), we got an offer from the best friend of the "father-in-law" - a single-family house in Bad Dürrenberg, Saxony-Anhalt. Wife's hometown. Leipzig or Halle are each about 25 minutes away.

Roof five years old, all water + heating pipes new, electrical system new, new bathroom + new toilet on the ground floor, partly new floors, walls newly plastered or wallpapered and painted. Courtyard/terrace newly paved. Simply move-in ready, he only had a new bathroom next to the bedroom upstairs done for us at the beginning of the year. 850m² land, 141m² living space, 20m² basement, shed, garage, heating room, workshop for 249K. - the adjacent plot we still lease from the city for €100 per year, another 950m².

Our employer (we are both employed at an agency in Aschaffenburg) fortunately cooperated, we now work almost exclusively from the home office.

Only very rarely do we have to go to the office in Aschaffenburg by prior arrangement. Our employer was also less worried about the distance - his concern was that we would look for a job here in the medium term and quit. But that is not planned. I especially liked the offer from our employer to guarantee for us in case there are problems with the financing. We didn't have to use it, but honestly it feels good. Before Corona, something like that would have been absolutely unthinkable for us! Now we have another colleague who works from Hanover (also her hometown), a colleague worked for months from Turkey because her parents were ill... suddenly all kinds of things are possible...

Anyway, we had our "Aschaffenburg" salary with East German living costs and perfect timing regarding financing. Plus a friendly price when buying the house. Yes, we had luck.

But go ahead, it can be worth considering alternatives.

The pictures are still from the first viewing 12 months ago.

That is of course the jackpot. Not just the house (that too), but above all such a progressive employer. Unfortunately, this is not desired by large parts of the management at ours. Congratulations!