Construction costs are currently skyrocketing

And it has been proven that old people stay fit longer if they have a task.

I agree, my father worked until he was 80 Sten. Then my mother forbade him to work because he became so scatterbrained and didn’t label the orders, which could not be assigned later :eek:. But my parents have a garden and chickens and family right next door. That compensates a bit. But I think he misses the work (now he is 85 and even more scatterbrained (so as not to have to write demented).

What does benefit mean? The garden doesn't have to be perfectly maintained. It's also a psychological thing to have open space around you. And it has been proven that elderly people stay fit longer when they have a task.

My grandmother moved into assisted living last year at 94. We never pressured her and always believed that you don't transplant an old tree. In her old apartment, she was alone all day. All neighbors were working. Twice a week she went to the doctor, always with a walker. After moving into assisted living, she really blossomed. Shared lunch, when she is looking for company someone is always sitting in the common room for chatting. The walker has been unused in the corner for 9 months, and we only went to the doctor to pick up prescriptions. It's certainly very individual, but it really doesn't have to mean the end and loneliness should not be underestimated.

Parents-in-law and parents had looked at bungalows in a complex. Everything tailored to seniors with various ailments. Quote from mother-in-law: "At that price, I would have expected cages with golden faucets." Father-in-law: "What am I supposed to do with the old folks?" Mother: "No garden, that’s just a rabbit run." Father: "The girls won’t just drop by anymore." Project dead.

Then every winter his overwhelm when there is snow and he has to clear the 20 meters of sidewalk in the morning, and we are still snuggled in the blanket listening to the janitor shoveling and turning over again - priceless. Not to forget the shortness of breath he always gets when he thinks he has to cut his Thuja hedge that goes completely around the property all by himself, because a) he wants to save the money for the gardener and b) doesn’t want to wait for someone to help him - wonderful. I don’t even want to talk about the lawn mowing here, it’s already grown so high again that you could weave baskets.

I think your father also has a son who could blow off some steam on the property…

…but that…

…and turning over again

…says a lot (everything) to me.

Are you sure you can judge it like that?

There may possibly be legitimate reasons why the children cannot be 100% there for immediate help?
- Possibly spatial distance?
- Family commitments (children, other relatives, etc.)
- Professional commitments (he did say that the elderly gentleman does not allow time to wait!).

Just an idea...

Then every winter his overwhelm when there is snow and he has to clear the 20 meters of sidewalk in the morning while we are still cuddled up in the blanket listening to the caretaker shoveling and turn over again - priceless. Not to forget the gasping for breath he always gets when he thinks he has to cut his completely surrounding thuja hedge by himself, because he a) wants to save the money for the gardener and b) doesn’t want to wait for someone to help him - wonderful. I don’t even want to talk about the lawn mowing, it has grown tall enough again to weave.

Work sets you free :)
He is still capable… the task of maintaining the house including the thuja can also be satisfying.

I think your father also has a son who could let off some steam on the property...

Similar with us: last year I wasn’t allowed to touch anything in the house, there was always conflict. Now they gladly accept my help. It also makes me happy that they are pleased about their new gem (me).

After moving into assisted living, she really blossomed.

With (early) dementia, a home or the regulated routines there are said to work wonders. It is important that the persons want it and decide for themselves. Nothing is worse than being patronized. Especially the children should keep some distance.