Floor plan planning shortly before submitting the building application

The 6-pack or the one from 2014 counts because you spend your free time next to each other and possibly depend on each other on vacation and/or in old age.

We choose our friends based on sympathy and not on the location of the house. I just don’t like it when the first conversations immediately revolve around what at least three other neighbors are doing "wrong" or "weird." In general, I don’t like know-it-all behavior. And I will not create the impression that I like it through a buddy-like behavior. And clearly stating my opinion about what I think of it is certainly not conducive.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want any trouble either. But there is a difference between respectful coexistence and friendship.

Well, for some people “have a nice day” might be equivalent to “best regards.” My girlfriend, who has a rather dry disposition, always writes that too [emoji4]

I agree with you, from a distance it is of course difficult to judge and assess, since many levels of communication (facial expression, behavior, voice ...) are simply missing here. You can be totally wrong and a “have a nice day” was actually meant exactly as you describe. I, as a WhatsApp-writing neighbor, would just be a bit more explicit and probably put “I wish you” before “have a nice day” – or just “best regards” straight away, to avoid misunderstandings. But that’s true, with a sufficiently “negative attitude” you could also misunderstand it. But since Hotzenplotz has already gotten to know the neighbor a bit differently, he can surely judge it best.

You always have two options – as you can very well observe here in our discussion. Anyway..., [emoji2]

I fully agree with you here as well. That’s why I also wrote under 2. that I would first try to find out what the real problem is, in order to try to reestablish a good basis for a good neighborhood. If I hadn’t written that, it was meant based on the order. [emoji6] Buddy-like wouldn’t be my first choice either, because for me that suggests a closeness that (not yet) exists and would therefore be acting. I would find that disrespectful, and people who pretend something to me I would regard with appropriate distance – which might be counterproductive here. But maybe you meant by “buddy-like” something I would see as “casual and normal,” as opposed to the “stilted and formal,” which in my opinion can quickly be understood as pedantic and arrogant. I would simply talk to him about the matter in a normal, completely normal way, kindly, and try to listen carefully to where the real problem lies. That would be the approach, knowing well that there is also a type (3). But of course, with the basic assumption that the other person actually means no harm, in many cases one gets the furthest, but not in all.

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Don't get me wrong; I don't want any trouble either. But there is a difference between respectful coexistence and friendship.

You are right. There are huge differences.

But if you are as formally correct as you seem to be, you can't be surprised if the other person behaves the same way.

But if you are as formally correct as you apparently are, you shouldn’t be surprised if the other person does the same.

However, you cannot equate formal with pedantic. Those are two different things. I also don’t know what you imagine by formal – apparently something with a negative connotation. By that I mean that I treat people kindly, politely, and with respect without having to treat them like a buddy or use informal address. By formal I do not mean inviting someone for a forced, dead-serious meeting at the dining table of the house at exactly 6 pm to clarify neighborhood issues and then promptly showing them the door again after sorting out the matter.

I agree with you, from a distance it is of course difficult to judge and assess, because here you simply don’t have many levels of communication (facial expressions, behavior, voice ...). You can be terribly wrong and a “have a nice day” was actually meant just like you describe it.

As a neighbor writing on WhatsApp, I would just be a bit more explicit and probably put “I wish you” before “a nice day” – or just “best regards” to avoid misunderstandings. But it’s true, with enough “negative attitude” one could misunderstand that as well. But since Hotzenplotz has known the neighbors a bit differently, he can probably judge it best.

I fully agree with you here as well. That’s why I wrote under point 2 that I would first try to find out where the real problem lies, in order to establish a good basis for a good neighborhood relationship again. If I hadn’t written that, it was meant based on the order. [emoji6]

“Buddy-like” wouldn’t be my first choice either, because to me that suggests a closeness that is (still) not there and therefore would be acting. I would find that disrespectful, and people who pretend to be something to me I would regard with appropriate distance – which might be counterproductive here.

Maybe you meant “buddy-like” as what I would see as “casual and normal,” as opposed to “stilted and formal,” which in my opinion can quickly be understood as patronizing and arrogant. I would just talk normally, in plain normal language, friendly to him about the matter and try to listen closely to find out where the real problem lies. That would be the approach, knowing well that there is also type (3). But clearly, with the basic assumption that the other person doesn’t actually mean any harm, you get the furthest in many cases, but not in all.

Yes, “casual and normal” fits better. I could have chosen my words better [emoji4] For me, my neighbors are those with whom I don’t have to be friends, but who are locally closest to me, and that for many years. You can hardly avoid them – as you can with relatives. They are the ones who may encounter me every day, and that in my private area. They are also the ones who have _me_ as a neighbor. They are the ones who accept my packages, put out the trash bin during vacation, possibly help clear snow from my section of the street. Just examples… for instance, they will also be the ones who hear arguments on the terrace. And here I expect discretion… Well, everyone has to see for themselves how they handle neighbors. I am curious how this will continue here.

When I always read something like this, I am glad to live at adW with only 1 direct neighbor. For us, it is "like family" (we are the 3rd generation here and they the 2nd) and good friends in one, and especially here you depend on that.

Here, between all the farms, there is still the regular neighborhood, 12 km in the entire radius, and although you do not know everyone very well or maybe do not like someone that much, it works because everyone makes an effort. And everyone knows that you can rely on dependability, in every respect.

Unfortunately, it does not sound like you ever had a truly harmonious neighborhood, and personally, I find that a pity.