Colorful Garden Chat Picture Thread

mh maybe wait until summer is over. On my wall crest there are some plants that have not taken root and that were too dry in spring. So much for drought resistance. With as many plants as you have, it’s no longer a matter of 5 euros and planting a new one

mh maybe wait until summer is over. On my wall crown there are some plants that did not take root and that were too dry in spring. So much for drought resistance. With as many plants as you have, you don't talk about 5 euros and planting a new one anymore

The rock garden is connected to the irrigation. While the plants are taking root, I will water relatively frequently; once everything has taken root, only during longer dry periods. But surely not everything will survive.

I completely understand, that would annoy me too. But you have to expose yourself to it, it’s called exposure... play some quiet, nice music yourself and look into your garden... otherwise you’ll just fixate on it and on the annoyance with the neighbor, and then it will be so present in your mind that you only focus on it... Do you have a privacy screen towards them?

In addition to the points above, which I agree with, is it perhaps possible to plant a hedge at the boundary to the neighbor in your garden? That also absorbs sound. You probably won’t be able to change the neighbor, and not using the garden (anymore) is also not a solution. The (negative) focus is probably already so strong on the music from the neighbor’s property that the noise disturbance is perceived as stronger than it actually is. However, feelings—especially when it comes to sound—cannot simply be downplayed or dismissed. As I said, it would certainly be worth considering adjusting your garden planning to the existing conditions (better that than no longer using the garden), creating your own pleasant soundscape (your own music or a particularly loud water feature, for example) or even considering the use of noise-cancelling headphones. If none of this helps and the irritation starts to affect your well-being, then you really have to consider whether to sell your current house in favor of a property better suited to you. But that can really only be the very, very, very last resort.

What helped me myself in this / similar situation was truly considering selling the house. It may sound silly, but after I felt that I DIDN'T HAVE to stay there, that I could also leave / get out, I felt much better. The thought of HAVING TO endure it for 40 years had really worn me down. Putting up a gabion wall - neighbor gone.

Yes, everything is understandable etc., but if someone already has no desire to use their garden at 45 dB and does not want to have their own music (which was discussed a few posts earlier) and is already aware that there is probably a hypersensitivity. Then what’s the use of beating around the bush? Nothing physical will help there. I advocate for exposure and occupation with something positive. So go out there and do something you enjoy and that requires concentration. This will direct the focus there. At first only for a very short time, then longer and longer. Eventually, a habituation effect will occur. It must, otherwise you simply cannot use the garden. If necessary, get help for that.

The neighbor will also not agree to never listen to any music anymore or to play it so quietly that they themselves can no longer hear it in their garden. I then also wonder, are there no kids in the neighborhood who are loud, lawn mowers etc. All of that does not bother then? To me, all of this speaks for a pathological over-focusing on this one supposed disturbance.

And I don’t want to say with that, don’t be so sensitive – the experience will be real and terrible. But there are effective methods for that too, which are not hedges or gabions.

I am currently losing all desire for the garden. Regardless of the weather, we actually only stay indoors. As soon as the sun comes out and I open my patio door, I either hear country music or techno blaring from the neighbor's property. Then I usually just turn around right away. I no longer know what else to do.

I'm really sorry for you that you're not doing well with the new living situation. Since you won't change the neighbors and have no control over them, and because structural measures won't restore your need for peace, there are only two options: avoid (stay indoors, move) or work on your own attitude towards the situation. Self-management can achieve surprisingly much, more than one might imagine in such a nerve-wracking situation. If necessary, seek help. That is a sign of strength and self-determination.