I have to chime in now as well, after having endured the entire thread in one go.
In my opinion, you are spinning in a very bad circle of "it shouldn’t be too expensive - I’ll first see what I want and then look at the price - what it costs, it costs."
I would strongly recommend that you set a budget for yourself and additionally an absolute pain threshold (e.g., 250,000 would be nice - 300,000 would still be justifiable) and only after that look at what kind of house you can get for that. Of course, this should be realistic— you’re already noticing yourself what kind of discussions it brings when it turns out that around 150,000 more are possible than initially stated in the first posts.
Don’t forget to take into account all the little things like a new kitchen, furniture, etc., and set a buffer that your contractors don’t find out about.
Believe me, it’s easier to upgrade the house than to first build your dream hut only to somehow force it into the budget afterwards.