Depression after notarized contract - experiences

Hello everyone,

thank you very much for taking the time to read my post and for replying in advance.
I think the financing is set up "typical" for today's prices.
Monthly household net income about 5,700 euros, calculated over the year 6,700 euros (my wife works part-time).

Additional costs amounting to €55,000 + an additional €35,000 are contributed as equity.

Financing requirement €755,000 with a monthly installment of €2,000 (repayment 2%, interest under 1%), until 2063 without special repayments. Residual debt after 20 years about €400,000, which can then be paid off with the accumulated stock funds depending on interest rates (that’s the plan).

In hindsight, I regret making so many compromises on the price (no daylight bathroom, narrow house), otherwise top location for the outskirts of Stuttgart with a large plot (almost 300m2).

The question is, if I manage to reverse the purchase, will I then want something else after having wasted 20-30k? Is this just a snapshot after the purchase?

The snapshot is very intense and currently burdens me extremely (no clear thoughts at work, at home my wife keeps asking was that right? My answer why aren’t you happy? YOU always wanted a house, let’s be happy).
I am really despairing like never before, I can no longer think clearly, I am afraid of the mountain of debt, afraid of change (every little thing: how will my little one react? Does he notice? Are we allowed to stay in the kindergarten, 5km away but in another district, I already miss my huge balcony, the surroundings (although they are not very nice, at least the “city center”).

I really don’t know what to do anymore, it’s terrible. I sensed it would turn out like this back then when I had mood swings every day during the reservation of another house....

This is a good example of Germans abroad at best shaking their heads. This worrying about things that are actually not worth worrying about.

That doesn't help you much now, so I'll try to put your circumstances into perspective:
I am in debt with my two properties for more than 170 times my basic salary. On paper, I will be paying until I’m over 80.
I sleep like a baby (a lot of personal effort helps).

If necessary, you sell again immediately, but only once the house is standing. I would bet that you will at least break even +/-0.

Without knowing your situation in more detail, there are also positive things about the whole matter.

a) the bank that provides you with the money checks your financial situation. If the project were not possible from their point of view, they probably would not support you.
b) A terraced house does not cost 800k in the middle of nowhere. That means maybe you would get 850k in a few years?
c) Where a terraced house costs 800k, a reasonable apartment for 4 people also costs a ton of money. Calculate how much money you would pay to a landlord during the time you are paying off your house? -> The money is gone. And it still needs to be completely paid in retirement.

Even if you carry forward a residual debt at retirement. The monthly burden is probably less than paying rent.

I also have something to contribute from my old sales activities. It actually works with the customer.

A loan is not a loan! That is important to know. A loan is a savings plan with immediate payout and subsequent accumulation.

Sounds much friendlier directly when you receive a savings plan payout and the loan installments suddenly become savings installments.

Sounds good to me too. Thanks for that.

How much does the rent cost for an apartment where 4 people have enough space or of similar size/location of the house? Why did you want a house? The apartment must have some deficits, otherwise you would never have had the desire. I don’t find the comparison with the savings plan bad. There is a value behind the debts. They are not consumer debts for clothes, vacation, etc.

In retrospect, I regret making so many compromises at this price (no daylight bathroom, narrow house), otherwise top location for Stuttgart outskirts, large plot (almost 300m2).

There was no better alternative, otherwise you would have chosen it. So you did everything right.

The question is, if I manage to undo the purchase, will I want something else after I have thrown 20-30k away? Is this a momentary feeling after buying?

There is no answer to this question now. You would only know after undoing the purchase, and even then the answer could change daily. From my point of view, one of the challenges/demands of human life is that not all questions can be answered and that this must be accepted.

... (every little thing: how will my little one react?

Please imagine your little one in your own garden, maybe with a real bunny, a treehouse and much more. He will be happy and will always bring you earthworms into the house so they are dry. And later he will have playmates from the immediate neighborhood and they will roam through all the gardens of the townhouse settlement. You do not have to fence off every property, especially if many children live there, with fences or similar.

I am really desperate like never before, I can no longer think clearly, I am afraid of the mountain of debt, afraid of change

Since you write "like never before", such fears apparently are occurring for the first time in your life. I cannot assess the intensity, but perhaps you could make an appointment with a professional coach. The first contact could be your family doctor.