Depression after notarized contract - experiences

2021-09-10 13:17:13

I roughly counted. You are asking this question for the 76th time now. And about 73 times the answer was "Build the house" MAKE A DECISION AT LAST!!!

Seriously!!! I have an acquaintance who has had this syndrome for 5 years now with his little house. Everything that has changed happened on its own, he himself has decided absolutely nothing and constantly complains that these things happen which he did not want. But they only do so because he really decides nothing beforehand, although for him it would be completely irrelevant whether yes or no, both could be lived with well. When he uses the word "decision" I stop him immediately because he probably means something completely different :D.... and so he continues to suffer........ now we are already in the 6th year...... the "suffering" becomes the defining content of life...... the ones suffering in particular are the people around him.

2021-09-10 13:33:16

Everything that has changed happened on its own, he himself decided absolutely NOTHING and constantly complains that these things happen that he did not want to happen.

Free adaptation after Paul Watzlawick: "You cannot not decide." Not making a decision has consequences and is therefore also a form of decision. Your friend acts, so to speak, with the normative power of factual omission. Accordingly, he is treated. How mean of him.

2021-09-10 16:42:57

Boy, oh boy. We are just strangers on the internet. So shoutouts to your wife who puts up with your drama in real life.

2021-09-11 15:36:24

However, I still have doubts about going through with the withdrawal.
The fact is: If I could turn back time, I would have bought the house in my parents' neighborhood for 100,000 euros less, used, and with a tiny plot of land. I am sure my "feeling" would be different. Well, I didn’t do it, my own fault.

So what remains now? The contract for a new house in a neighboring town, where a "complete change" would also have to happen—kindergarten, friends, different playgrounds, different surroundings (yes, yes, these are all small things, I know, but somehow relevant to me). Or cancel and wait for another chance in my desired area? If prices keep rising as before and interest rates somewhere (they are at the current low point, as is my offer), will I completely miss the chance to own property? At these rapid speeds, no matter how much I save.

Do I have to accept that I can’t afford anything in "my" town?

It would just be annoying to wait now and in 3 years maybe only be able to get a 3.5-room apartment for the same monthly burden. Because then owning property makes no sense anymore and only the housing cooperative remains.

What would you do? Moving further away is not an option. I don’t really need a house at 50 either.

You urgently need to get out of your slump. Talk to friends/family; it always helps me when I get my worries off my chest. You also can’t chase after missed opportunities. Beating yourself up now because you missed a chance is counterproductive. Look forward!

Your problem also seems to be that you have no way to protect your equity from inflation, otherwise you wouldn’t think that in 3 years you could only afford a 3.5-room apartment. Since you will probably be paying off your house for the rest of your life, I understand your distress.

For me, there are two ways to get out of your situation.

1. You take the house.

2. You don’t take the house and invest your equity in a broadly diversified stock ETF, “MSCI All Countries World Index” or “Vanguard FTSE All-World.” This protects your equity. Then you look for a new house, and above all, take your time!

I have now found an almost perfect plot for myself, and that is a great feeling! I was also close to buying the wrong house and am glad I didn’t do it.

2021-09-11 20:31:01

I think you are too perfectionistic. I have the same problem, we are about the same age.... that’s also a bit because of our generation ;) We missed the right time to buy a good house and now we are paying a lot more. I’m telling you, a perfect cost-benefit thing won’t come out anymore... you write that you don’t need a house anymore at 50. OK! Then you can see it as a phase. A phase doesn’t have to last forever. You could, so to speak, try living in the house. You might think now, I don’t want to try living somewhere that doesn’t excite me, and if I buy it, I’ll never buy another one because I won’t have the patience. I can understand that, I’d do the same and then be out... Unfortunately, you are indecisive... you can’t decide. Please make a list, rate the individual items and then decide objectively. Because subjectively it won’t work... that unfortunately changes by the minute. And again: It’s not your fault, you’re just like that ;)

2021-09-11 20:44:51

I don't really need a house by the time I'm 50 anymore.

You do need a house at 50. But maybe a different one than at the present time ;)

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Depression after notarized contract - experiences

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