Depression after notarized contract - experiences

Hello, dear Hauskauf87,

first of all, stay calm. I haven’t read all the answers and I apologize in advance for any repetitions. I am actually a professional and cannot make remote diagnoses. But your thoughts and negative feelings on the one hand correspond to the “fear of your own courage,” and on the other hand they might be based on the fact that there was no 100% agreement between you and your wife regarding the purchase, or on negative attitudes towards buying a house in general (in the families of origin). These are more common, although rather not here in our forum community. The rational arguments in favor of buying, which you mostly read here, will not cure your negative feelings. But maybe a conversation with your wife can calm you down. Especially regarding your fears of loss concerning the relationship, because those usually cause more panic than any mortgage. You are probably experiencing a normal reaction to a “life event.” Short-term reactions do not correspond to depression. So no panic! Feelings pass if you endure them. And talking about it also helps! A psychological counseling center offers help for such things. Appointments with therapists take longer to get and may also be too much of a good thing, but that should be decided by the counseling center. Please feel free to report how things have gone for you. All the best to you both and kind regards!

Off topic: "pfutsch", that's a really cute word. I'll add it to my vocabulary. Thanks for that. :)

Unfortunately written with a capital letter here – it should of course be lowercase. But I'm sitting in the car as a passenger, and it's shaking so much that I let some corrections slide ;)

The house will be in Korntal

Currently a very sought-after location and unfortunately the price is completely normal. We are building in the Böblingen district and have similar conditions as you, only it is a semi-detached house.

We are super happy that we found a plot in a good location and are now building our house. I would have liked to have a bigger garden or a double garage, but we are happy with what we got. I know others who have been looking for the perfect affordable plot for 9 years (!).

If we were to move back into a rental apartment, we would have had to pay 1500-1800 euros as well. I would rather pay off the loan and have a nice house.

For me, it is like with the job: it is not forever and if you have one, you can calmly look for something better.

I would recommend you move in, see how it is and feels. Then you can still look for something else in parallel.

Try to take the pressure off. If you realize it doesn't fit or is not financially feasible, then sell it again and move into a rental apartment. In Korntal you will surely be able to sell it again for the same price or even higher, the demand is currently enormous.

All the best to you in any case. If you ever want to exchange ideas with someone who has similar conditions, feel free to send me a message.

My wife and I had the same thoughts after the notary appointment and often wondered back then if the decision was wrong, and the debt was a real burden on our relationship.

Honestly, by now we don’t really think about the loan anymore. We occasionally check how much we have paid off so far and then jokingly say that the bathroom now belongs to us =)

After two years, we are also much more relaxed about our monthly payment. Although we had a child in the meantime and my wife has slightly reduced her working hours, we effectively have more net income than two years ago. And in January it will increase again, so the payment somehow feels smaller and less important.

Our apartment is also a compromise and is not exactly what we wanted and liked in every respect. The advantage of ownership, however, is that you can redesign and remodel quite a bit according to your own ideas. The interior bathroom bothers you? Why don’t you remodel it now or in the future? Or don’t you even have space for a second bathroom in the attic?

Others have been looking for the perfect affordable plot for 9 years (!).

You have to put that in perspective. Possibly unhappy for years or with the not perfect apartment. Then better not the perfect house (which would have also been affordable nine years ago ==> today sell with a big profit and "upgrade"). Just look forward to the house. Even if it’s easier said than done.

no yaso I looked I unfortunately did not find anything noted in the notarized contract, I was also not informed about it (although I knew that a notarized contract is binding) only the passage is included: All payments are also due no earlier than when 1. this contract is legally effective, the necessary approvals for its execution are available and the seller has not been granted any contractual rights of withdrawal; this condition is already fulfilled today, as confirmed by the notary;

We currently live in a semi-detached house, I love our house. Later we bought a plot of land and now we are building on it. Out of "fear" of not doing everything right or making a wrong decision here or there or even having made one, I sometimes had sleepless nights and even in my dreams it was only about the house construction! I have asked my husband more than once whether we are not making the mistake of our lives with this. I can warmly recommend making a pros and cons list. What speaks for and against the house and what speaks for and against the apartment? You have really received many very helpful tips here that expand your pro list for the house quite well. It helped me a lot and by now I am really excited about our decision to carry it through. However, if you still have doubts afterwards, then call and ask if and in what form a possible reversal would be feasible.