Depression after notarized contract - experiences

My wife supports the purchase, although even before buying she always said that one apartment is enough for her and she doesn't want a house

Marriage and child/ren can cost more than a house. And for that, you could decide, as I hope without regret. You even want a second, and who knows, maybe a third child. I, as a woman without children, never dared to say "yes" to child/ren. Among other things, I lacked the courage. That's why I think it's so great of you that you have mustered the courage and willingness to take risks for marriage and child/ren. A house is a cinch compared to that, in my view. But for you, it might be the other way around.

Would it relieve you if you delegated everything related to the house to your wife, provided she agrees? So you "disengage" from the whole matter for now? If your wife has come to terms with the house purchase and you wish for this house, perhaps you could also see it as something you do for your wife and the child.

However, I think it's good that the withdrawal option is feasible and financially bearable, and thus you are "free" in your decision.

Ich

Your "I, I, I" is somehow misplaced here and basically just a self-presentation in a thread that addresses a different topic. In school, that would be "off topic, 6"

Eigentlich erschreckend wie "Wenig" Haus man für sein Geld bekommt.

the house is probably "a lot of house," just on an expensive plot.

aber Chancen gibt es im Leben viele.

Oh, is that so? Does a hunter think like that? ;)
Where we are in the northern not-quite-the-middle-of-nowhere, there are quite a few offers, but not many chances even there, because you are not the only one looking.

Sorry, aber das ganze Konstrukt, dass deine Frau sich überhaupt nicht um die Finanzen kümmert halte ich für sehr merkwürdig und würde dich bei einer möglichen Scheidung (jaja, passiert ja sowieso nur den anderen..) teuer zu stehen kommen.

Such things are said to exist, that one cares about something and the other one does not. Why should one deal with something if the other can do it better? That is called division of labor and optimization of resources. Probably this is the classic distribution of roles, which is not bad at all.
I don’t even know if this is off topic… maybe the OP is simply a hunter and a bragger (not at all the depressive type one might suspect here), and has set his limits a bit too wide with the notary contract.
You can also dry wet feet well on mom’s bosom, so now the feeling is returning to get a foothold near the parents again, who always helped with care in the past.
The analysis offers a lot of potential!

I don’t find it surprising that no one wants to spend 800K on a terraced house without a bathroom window. Since you obviously aren’t convinced at all and it’s not important to your wife either, back away from it. Then think about what you really want (not just you) without pressure. And in the future, listen more to your gut feeling and less to your head. For decisions like this, ignoring your gut feeling is not a good idea.

She is listed as a co-owner and would also be included in the loan agreement. She trusts me blindly on that. But it's also a bit like, I think, wow, if it doesn't work out, where do I drag my wife into this?

That reminds me a bit of a situation from my "past life" :D. Outcomes or results don't necessarily have to be similar, but with the situation you described "married couple/responsibility/house/loan" I get a rash. That doesn't feel healthy, and for my part I had to realize that I had a large share in this "sole rule" or rather felt very comfortable with it. Your wife can only rely on that as long as you allow it or want it yourself. Most of the time you're not just the "victim"...... I agree with , because I often don't understand how casually people have children, which is the maximum responsibility, but here, for example with building a house (money issue), they get cold feet. Maybe one should also straighten that out a bit within oneself.

For that money, you can get a luxury property on the Mediterranean with lake view and the best weather.

I'll throw Lapland into the discussion as well.... it's supposed to be really nice there too.

Prices will continue to rise; a detached house in the region is unaffordable and will tend to become even less affordable in the future. The equity is now partially used up in the reversal process. Additionally, the search radius around the current apartment will be even more limited.
A purchase (even of a terraced house) is thus moving further and further out of reach.

The question is, what do you want then? Will you be happy permanently in this or, with further children, in a rental apartment?
If yes, then try to reverse the contract. If you absolutely want to have ownership, then carry through the project.

Yes, the entire burden lies on my shoulders, also financially.
I "bring home" about 4,400 euros without special payments, my wife works part-time with about 1,050 euros. That works well for us; full-time would be difficult with her job due to working hours and we like it that way (more time for our little one, etc.)
I love my wife, but financially she leaves it to me (we also have separate accounts)

No idea if I’m right, but I suspect your wife has tax class 5 and you have class 3, right?
Then you should definitely consider whether the "bringing home" and "the entire burden lies on my shoulders" is a bit unfair to your wife. Then you only have 500-700 euros more per month due to the joint choice of tax classes, and she correspondingly less. Then the ratio looks completely different.
And one more question: Does she also like that she works part-time, or is it only you who likes it?

If I am wrong, please ignore my post.

the gut feeling wasn’t there before the purchase, the head said YES, do it. All the pressure of buying a house doesn’t come from the pressure of “we need something now because our apartment is too small,” but rather from “saving won’t help, prices are running away and at some point buying won’t be possible anymore.” This is not meant as an excuse, but it is one of the main reasons. I am quite sure that if the price increases over the last years hadn’t reached such abnormal dimensions, I would have been more relaxed about the topic (been).

is it really that unusual for my wife to be a co-owner? I mean, in the worst case of a divorce she would get half anyway?

thanks also to all the other answers. I read these and don’t deliberately ignore them. Mostly what is said here is: Get help. Yes, that may be, but it doesn’t change the situation in the short term. After my final decision I’ll definitely do that though. Many thanks to everyone who took / takes time.