Depression after notarized contract - experiences

Please help me

Today I feel somewhat better

I have not read everything but from my own life experience I can contribute something to the term depression that might be helpful not only for the OP. If you have a clouded mood with anxiety, worries, lack of motivation, inhibited drive, and whatever other blockages, this is normal even without any special reason because moods fluctuate. Make a note on the third consecutive day to mark a starting point. If this mood persists continuously for 6 weeks, seek advice at a specialized outpatient clinic. After 6 weeks it is no longer called a mood fluctuation. It is early enough to determine if targeted intervention is necessary—with whichever method, there is a huge variety—often it is a metabolic problem. Delaying can mean years of lost quality of life. The term "depression" in its actual meaning as an illness can now be well understood—I am glad it was not used in its actual sense here.

Depression

If my parents had been introduced to this word 30 years ago, they would not have been able to understand that such a thing exists; they come from an area that was somewhat poorer, but the solidarity, the weather, and the well-being were great. Today, they know this term.

I clearly remember that about 30 years ago our Russian teacher checked herself into the institution. Presumably also because of mental overload. Due to the shift from hard physical labor to increasingly demanding intellectual work and the ever-accelerating technological progress, it affects more and more people.

If my parents had been introduced to this word 30 years ago, they would not have been able to understand that such a thing exists, they come from an area that was somewhat poorer, but the cohesion, the weather, and the well-being were great, today they know this term.

I was in therapy for years because of depression. Even today, I can argue with my mother about this topic because she belongs to the faction that likes to tell those affected that they "shouldn’t make such a fuss." Just recently, on a good occasion at work, I gave a lecture on the topic and also to raise awareness in dealing with those affected, on the subject of empathetic listening, and also suicide prevention – and in this way, I try to support change in society. I can only recommend those affected to turn to doctors and therapists and not listen to the fear that says, "my problem is not serious/important enough to bother a doctor with." Professionals are trained and, unlike large parts of the rest of society, will take your problems seriously.

many many thanks for your kind words. I completely understand that there are also negative reactions to my feelings (that's probably how I would be myself if I were to read something like that). Whatever the response, I thank each and every one for taking the time to read, give tips, and reply. Every answer helps me a little bit. I am glad that so many want to help me here in the forum (that is not a given).

yes, currently low at least compared to the usual local rents. For 4 people, we would probably have to move, yes. In that case, I would have tried to get a larger cooperative apartment in the neighborhood (with 100m2 it would cost about 1,100-1,200 cold, 1,500 warm). But that would be 800-900 euros less and I would have the freedom of renting (since cooperatives have low increases, no termination for own use, etc.) But I see, I drift off, I want to praise everything current very well again and criticize everything new. In the long run, buying is better, I clearly see that too. But what if the place is only worth half in 10 years and I have to/want to sell. I'm drifting off again :( Rents will probably rise about as much as in recent years, right? If I "had to" rent now due to enlargement and that on the free market, then buying would actually be nonsense, as the free market sometimes charges 13-16 euros per m2 for any condition.

yes, that is basically my attitude towards life. Living in the NOW, enjoying life to the fullest (especially family life, career interests me less nowadays). Maybe I'm exactly afraid of that, that I won't be able to do that in the future because of higher costs? Although that's total nonsense too. It's about 1,300 euros more in the future. I already put "relatively" easily 1,000-1,300 into my stock portfolio, 100 into a building savings contract, and save additional money in the account (without special payments, which make up a considerable part, about 12,000 euros per year).

yes, very good location for me, new development area, adjacent to fields and forest, rail connection in town, mid-elevation location. I had the same attitude as you and set limits for myself when I started intensive searching 3 years ago. It started with a conversation with my father: Dad, my place must not cost more than 350,000 euros, otherwise I have to live differently than now. One year later it was 500,000 euros because there was nothing, 2 years later 600,000, 3 years later 700k (salary has of course developed along with it). I somewhat regret setting those limits back then because I was rather security-oriented. If I had set them higher, the price would have been different (but I couldn't foresee how my salary would develop). And I always wanted a house, my wife always said a flat was enough for her, she didn’t want a house. And now I’m the one whining, terrible.

many thanks, I will do that.

A few more words (maybe the reasons run deeper): I have always been a person, when I reflect on myself, who was sad when something passed by. Really sad and for a longer time. Whether it was youth camp, vacation, mourning the old times (when my little one was still 2, etc.). Sometimes I want to stop time when it is just like I always want it to be, but unfortunately that’s not possible. I think I am simply a brutally sensitive person with a brutally hard shell and tend to swallow things rather than communicate openly. Sometimes it’s totally pointless things. Back then, quitting the old job, I was worried that I wouldn’t see the janitor anymore with whom I always joked (wtf?). Maybe it’s the same here now; I’m already mourning the "beautiful" moments in our surroundings/apartment and that comes all at once because a way out seems inevitable. Do you understand what I mean? Stop time, child small, family young, parents fit, and that’s my wish sometimes for the next 100 years.

I was in therapy for years because of depression. Even today, I can argue with my mother about this topic because she belongs to the faction that likes to tell those affected to "stop making such a fuss." I only recently gave a presentation on this topic at a good opportunity at work, also to raise awareness in dealing with those affected, the topic of empathetic listening, and also suicide prevention – and in this way, I try to support the change in society. To those affected, I can only recommend turning to doctors and therapists and not listening to the fear that says "my problem is not serious/important enough to bother a doctor with it." Professionals are trained and will take your problems very seriously, unlike large parts of the rest of society.

Thank you for your openness, I just meant that my parents know today what it is, previously something like that would not have developed in them at all.

Studies also show that people in big cities can develop depression faster; this is also because people are more anonymous with each other than in rural areas. This would also be confirmed by my parents; problems were shared there, people spent a lot of time together; loneliness can break people.