Depression after notarized contract - experiences

Hello... You are only buying a house/an item ... Not a wife.... did it take you that long to be sure?

I sincerely thank you that I can "vent" with you and every answer helps me a little bit and of course I also see the advantages. I have read all the answers carefully and multiple times.

Maybe I should really seek professional help, maybe it really is depression that has become much stronger due to the decision. Although I actually don't have typical symptoms for that.

The sum really paralyzes me. Today I talked again with my wife, she can't understand my way of thinking at all.

We also say to ourselves that with the next child at the latest the apartment will be too small anyway, then we'll move elsewhere, something bigger then the rent will be at least 1,500-1,700 including utilities.

Maybe it's also because other things indirectly burden me (wish to have children hasn't worked for years, etc.)

Maybe the reasons lie elsewhere

Currently everything has just gotten worse. I would feel better tomorrow if I called the notary and inquired about reversing the transaction but rationally thought total nonsense

Oh no, just googled it, and several points apply to me. I'm starting to get scared.

What is my family supposed to do with the debts when I'm no longer around or in therapy?

Early [B]symptoms and first signs of a depression[/B]

[*]Pain (e.g. nonspecific headaches or stomachaches);
[*]constant fatigue, lack of energy;
[*]decreased sexual interest;
[*]irritability, anxiety;
[*]increasing lack of motivation, apathy;
[*]morose mood;
[*]sleep disturbances;
[*]loss of appetite.

You are not off the hook right now.

Depression is shitty, but treatable. I speak from experience :)

Something like that can also just come suddenly – as Kensington already described. With such life events, people simply reconsider things in a totally different way.

When I was 18, I had terrible panic attacks and anxieties. What you describe, the circling and clinging to the bad things, you don’t just get out of that easily. Things that helped me back then were distracting myself (if possible) and getting help. There are therapeutic counseling centers, I had good experiences with those.

Therapy may be exaggerated, but maybe not. Maybe this is a "trigger" moment that shows you that you are not doing well.

But that also means you can seek help now. General practitioner, or google your place of residence + psychological counseling center, you will definitely find something. I just looked for Stuttgart, there are quite a few.

As JuliaMünchen rightly pointed out – this pandemic is extremely stressful, plus a life event and maybe other worries that previously had no space...

The most important thing for you – there are help centers, find help. See if you have friends or your wife who can support you with that. Open up if possible and seek help.

I sincerely wish you all the best.

And wait it out for now, you are in an exceptional situation. Let the notary be the notary and take care of yourself first.

After #69 it's about time. It doesn't matter what you call it. You need help in a thinking crisis, and you probably won't do that. Professionally, I deal with the consequences of such crisis thinkers. They think: everything is over! They don't think in options, other times, possible alternatives. Their thinking is so tangled that they only know ONE way, and that is the extermination of the whole family. Usually they remain alone, fully responsible, and are locked up for 12 years. Only then do they learn what change means in a negative way.

total Angst vor Veränderung,

There will most likely be no worst case, because there is a valid notary contract.

WORST CASE: I call the developer and want to cancel the contract.

But is it then too late in 5-10 days, or is everything over?

Not everything is over; rather, a more generous life begins, which you, you have earned.

Worst Case scenario, you can't pay and have debts.... Three years of personal bankruptcy is now a breeze

It doesn't happen that quickly: first, a risk insurance can cover the family. And it has often been said here, which apparently doesn't get through to you: the countervalue is tied up in the house – you are allowed to sell that. Probably even with a profit.

What should my family do with the debts if I'm no longer around or in therapy?

… slowly you also have to mention that you are an adult. Any tangle should be able to be untied with a certain skepticism, especially when something is said on every side here. Complaining doesn't help either.

With all your expressed fears and the current emotional state, I wonder how you were even able to handle this purchase including the notary appointment? With such a major decision, especially financially, you usually thoroughly consider the pros and cons beforehand and calculate it multiple times, don’t you? Or could it be that you were perhaps in a rather euphoric phase mentally, which somewhat pushed you to go through with it? In summary, I would at least advise you to see a psychiatrist/psychologist and otherwise view the house as an investment; you will probably lose more money with a purchase withdrawal than with a timely resale after moving in... especially in your region!