Depression after notarized contract - experiences

My concerns currently focus a lot on the high purchase price and the feeling of having "overstretched" myself with the amount. Rationally, the repayment burden is actually manageable, I have calculated that too. But the mountain of debt is huge for such a "small" house

That these concerns, as you already say, are rationally unfounded, several users here in the forum have shown you with calculations. That you can get something else "cheaper" is more wishful thinking than reality. Especially when it comes to 40-year-old houses that may look nice but might need a new heating system or other new technology next year. It is important to understand that the mountain of debt is backed by a value. As long as the "mountain of debt" is lower than the "mountain of house value," it is all okay. A house is indeed immovable (not movable) but not "nonprosale" (not sellable).

I am currently selling a multi-family house for €400,000 and with that you have €2,500 net rental income. [...] So again. House and land are completely overpriced. Too small and not really great. Plus terraced house. That's nothing anyway. So get rid of it.

You are quite a clever guy. So why are you selling if the yield is so great? Maintenance backlog? The multi-family house is definitely not a new building... The OP lives in Stuttgart and wants to stay there and not move to Thuringia, Chemnitz or Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania. One should compare apples to apples and not to rotten pears. Just quickly checked what a terraced house in Stuttgart costs as rent, it starts at €2,000 for unrenovated 80s houses. A (!) new build terraced house is available for €2,250.

She is only "going along" because it is my wish or rather was:O. She leaves the finances to me because she doesn't deal with that. She had concerns about the purchase price but said if you think we can do it, then we can do it. She finds the area nice and would move there and now can't understand my concerns since I said we can do it.

Uff... I know that this is often still reality, but that doesn't match my idea of partnership at all. My husband and I decided and did everything together. From the first viewing of the plot, to discussing it with friends and family, and also the financial plan behind the project. We sat together many times over our Excel spreadsheet. The only thing I had to do alone was the bank meetings except for the contract signings because he couldn't take time off. And that already made me uneasy.

Is your wife also on the contract? I don't want to harp on other people's relationship models, but maybe that plays a part in your insecurity? My husband and I could always support and ease each other's fears when one of us had doubts because we were equally involved. In your case, you are carrying the whole burden of the financial decision alone on your shoulders. I believe that would scare me too.

Yes, the whole burden lies on my shoulders, also financially. I "bring home" about 4,400 euros without special payments, my wife works part-time with about 1,050 euros. That works well for us; full-time would be difficult with her job because of the working hours and we like it this way (more time for our little one, etc.). I love my wife, but she leaves the financial matters to me (we also have separate accounts). She is listed as a co-owner and would also be listed in the loan agreement. She trusts me blindly in this. But it's also a bit of a situation where I think, wow, if it doesn’t work out, where am I dragging my wife into? Only negative thoughts. I told my parents about this yesterday; my father feels that I’m just hunting. If I have something in my sights, I don’t pull the trigger, and he expressed concerns that if I decline, maybe I do want the house after all... On the other hand, I think, yes, it can happen, it would be bitter, but there are many opportunities in life. Does it have to be the last chance if I don’t take it?

Actually frightening how "little" house you get for your money. But the house is worth the money in your area. Thus, the debt is offset by an asset. If it were otherwise, the bank would not have financed it.

If your wife does not take care of the finances, it is not your sole problem. She always had the opportunity to take care of it. Don't blame yourself for sole responsibility.

Yes, the whole burden rests on my shoulders, including the financial aspect. I "bring home" about 4,400 euros without special payments, my wife works part-time with about 1,050 euros. That works well for us; full-time would be difficult in her job due to working hours and we like it this way (more time for our little one, etc.). I love my wife, but financially she leaves it to me (we also have separate accounts).

She is listed as a co-owner and would also be included in the loan agreement. She trusts me blindly in this. But that’s also a bit where I think, wow, if it doesn’t work out, how do I drag my wife into this? Only negative thoughts. I told my parents yesterday, my father feels like I’m just on a hunt. If I have something in my sights, I don’t pull the trigger and he expressed concerns that if I cancel, maybe I actually want the house after all….

On the other hand, I think to myself, yes it can happen, it would be bitter, but there are many chances in life. Does it have to be the last chance if I don’t take it?

Uff, so you bear the entire financial burden but she is listed as an owner? Sorry, but the whole setup that your wife does not take care of the finances at all seems very odd to me and would cost you dearly in a possible divorce (yeah yeah, that only happens to others anyway...).