Acof1978
2021-08-04 10:45:07
- #1
After therapy has been suggested to me repeatedly now: I was in therapy for many years and have talked about many things. For the most part, this resulted in a massive improvement in my quality of life. I am the last person who would advise someone against therapy. On the contrary, I believe I can count on one hand the number of people in my circle of acquaintances who DO NOT need it.
One insight from therapy, however, was that you are not always broken just because you are different. Many like to believe that – and they are welcome to see a therapist at times. But you don't always have to see the fault within yourself, and not every personal trait is a psychological defect.
Regarding the mentioned "misophonia" preliminary diagnosis: I looked it up briefly on Wikipedia – the word "music" does not appear anywhere in the article. It’s about various noises that one can develop hatred for (I have also seen a TV report about this), but music is not mentioned in the lists. I also think it is not uncommon to develop hatred toward people who bombard you with unwanted music. In my case (and this also speaks for a personal trait, not a psychological disorder), I generally find music exhausting. I also don’t listen to music continuously in the background at home; I just don’t like droning music in general. Even when I myself cause the music (have it on), I cannot keep it on when I start doing something else that requires concentration, like playing a game for example. Music is something active for me, something where I am engaged.
Recently, we wanted to eat on the terrace behind the house on a Sunday because the weather was nice, and again there was droning music from the neighbors. And I found it difficult to talk to my husband. I can only listen to him properly with great effort because my attention keeps landing on the rhythm. It’s like two people pulling on your arms in different directions, metaphorically speaking. I cannot split myself. I can’t explain it any better.
But you yourself say that music already annoys you/produces feelings of hatred which the neighbor actually plays quietly. And the average person wouldn’t be bothered by that. And that was the starting point for me. If the neighbor is already considerate and plays music quietly in the garden, but you develop feelings of hatred, then it either has to be deeply rooted or have another cause. Because now demanding from the neighbors not to play any music in the garden at all, not even quietly, would in my view go too far. I’m not a therapist, I/we can only infer from what you tell us.