Yesterday was an interesting day in the sense of this thread. :D
Our little one had a birthday. We will celebrate in September, but at noon the doorbell rang and the neighbors, who have been much discussed here, congratulated us with a helium balloon and a gift for the little one.
At that moment, I was still very tired, so only my husband was at the door.
I wasn't tired because of them, but because yesterday (again Sunday) the neighbor one house down apparently had some kind of celebration, so there was a bar set up in the garden and loud music played all day. I was sitting sobbing on a pallet in front of the house and didn't know what to do with my thoughts, going back and forth between "I have to get out of here, I'll never find peace here, we have to organize something" and "I have to somehow come to terms with it because this is where our house is."
At some point, I calmed down. It was our son's birthday, so at some point I went outside despite the music, built his water play track together with my husband and him, and tried to enjoy the afternoon.
On the one hand, it was good because it felt more self-determined to stay outside anyway. The downside was that at some point I got such a terrible headache that I had to take a tablet.
While we were sitting outside, we heard that the neighbors (the ones who usually listen to music) were also in the garden. We invited them over, put some sweets on the table, and had a nice chat for a while. I didn't dare to bring up the music in that context. There was a friend there, and as part of the mini birthday party, I didn't want the mood to sour.
Overall, I thought to myself that it's always easier to have a face to the matter, to see it clearly again. They don't have everything 100% the way they want it either. Presumably, the neighbor would also prefer to have Sundays off instead of working further in the garden since it needs to be done and he works during the week.
When they left, I finally planted my plants that had been standing in pots behind the house for weeks. Despite the music - from another source. After that, I decided to let some time pass by the Rhine and reassess the situation. First, I need to calm down. I have to objectively evaluate the frequency and duration of the disturbances again. Maybe really keep a noise log. Maybe also talk to my doctor or a therapist again. Corona and lockdown affected many people; maybe that can help straighten out my perspective on the matter. It’s concerning to me that I temporarily rate the livability of my property as "bearable" every time I meet the neighbors personally, and then - when I only hear their music and don’t talk to them - I get caught up in a hostile image again.
On the other hand, I also can’t argue away the headaches. Nor how exhausting that afternoon was when I tried to focus on my husband, child, guests, and conversations and for hours the music tried to push itself to the foreground in my perception. That requires a lot of concentration, which is probably also why I got the headaches.
Due to a job change, I now have a few months of probation to get through. During this time, we probably won’t make any major financial changes. Also, winter is coming. I will give myself these months and try to approach this as objectively as possible and then next spring, together with my husband, consider what we will do. In the meantime, we can keep an eye out for alternatives offering more isolation.
I hope this can maybe close the thread.
I thank everyone who has brought in such diverse suggestions here in all directions, even if it drifted far from the original thread intention. :)