Hello Oakland
I really wish you a nice house. What you are planning is a compromise. It can't be more than that. And this compromise will be expensive. Building a house is simply expensive and it regularly becomes more expensive than planned.
Just something to think about: First, get a cost estimate. Then calculate whether the loss from selling this weird plot and buying a reasonable one is not less than building this house compared to a "normal" one. I fear that realizing this project will cause a lot of headaches.
Perhaps a nighttime action with the chainsaw and the fine would be the cheaper option.
Steven