How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Not to build, but to buy existing properties. That way, 99% of all voting points are eliminated.

I experienced it completely differently. If you can find anything at all, there are also various possibilities that can quickly become a bone of contention. We certainly had situations here and there where one person didn’t think the house was bad and wanted to see it a second time, while the other had already rejected it shortly after entering. Eventually, we at least agreed not to look at anything older than 25 years and with an oil heating system (we both hate the smell of heating oil).

Not build, but buy existing property. That eliminates 99% of all voting points.

I see it differently. Even when buying an existing property, you can sometimes get into heated arguments about flooring, sanitary fittings, wall design, general landscaping, etc. etc.
If a couple needs a reason to argue, they will find one, whether it's a rental apartment, an old building, a new build, or a tent.

The views have to match. In my opinion, a partnership cannot last in the long run if both have opposing opinions. We agree on the basics – renovation, refurbishment, but in a way that is affordable. We are both the kind of people who would rather get our hands dirty ourselves than just have a company come in. We also picked out new pavement. I wouldn’t have minded reusing the old one, even though I liked something else better – but my husband eventually said it would be better to buy new pavement. What we both found visually the best was definitely too expensive. It wasn’t worth it to us. So now it will be a stone that is still well within the budget and fits visually. For other things, we weigh the pros and cons together. For example, during the renovation of the laundry room, we had three windows with glass bricks. He said we could keep them, just put in new joints, and then it would be fine again. I looked up prices for plastic windows and more or less persuaded him, including with the labor time we would have had to invest anyway in the old windows. On the day of installation, he agreed with me that we wouldn’t have been happy with the glass bricks. And now we enjoy the bright laundry room every day. I took over the planning of the kitchen. I would have liked a white kitchen; he preferred wood decor since it’s less sensitive. He convinced me. He wanted a high-voltage connection in the kitchen to be able to install a pizza oven later – no problem, the outlet doesn’t bother me, it’s better than having to open the wall again later. You should be able to talk about everything in a partnership. Especially when it also concerns building a house. You have to sometimes let go of your fixed ideas, make a compromise – and do so without holding it against your partner forever afterward. Club logo in the pavement? That wouldn’t be very important to me. Maybe I would suggest painting the logo on the garage wall instead.

Allocating each partner a goodie budget also helps. This eliminates the killer argument "too expensive" and the subsequent argument "you got x, now I want y too." It also eases budget planning because fairness discussions don't result in the compromise "we'll do both."

But it can also backfire. I would generally avoid the „Geldkarte“. Especially if the partners are financially involved in the project unequally. Different budgets tend to cause confusion. An open discussion helps here. Especially since this is not about essential things but luxury. Many things you plan you end up not using that much in practice. Limiting yourself here and there is not bad. You can always change something later. You have to live in a house first to be able to furnish it properly in the end. That takes some time. Approach house-building with a positive attitude. If you’re already driving yourself crazy beforehand, you should leave it.

Whether partners are financially involved differently in the property or can be at all depends on how one generally approaches the whole topic of money in the partnership/marriage. We follow the principle that there is no "my" money, but rather it is "our" money. Everything else would currently be complicated or unfair, since I currently receive nothing but take care of our daughter and thereby naturally give my husband the opportunity to earn what he earns. If one were to go by "mine/yours," he is currently paying for everything related to the house out of his own pocket and would therefore be "generous" if he still includes me in decisions. Fortunately, we do not see it that way.