How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

  • Erstellt am 2019-05-01 21:52:43

guckuck2

2019-05-02 06:48:30
  • #1
In principle, one must agree. Bauhaus and Biedermeier will never fit together. But in detail, compromises are possible. A wall color that can be changed is a completely different matter than embedding a club logo into the pavement ... where it is worthwhile, there must also be room for debate. Completely without being at risk of divorce, even though hobby psychologists on the internet see it differently.
 

chand1986

2019-05-02 07:30:01
  • #2
Again about the team spirit and that this means accommodating the partner: yes. But not one-sidedly. Everyone has a mental accounting of such favors, whether they want to or not. And if one gives more and the other takes more (because that's how their characters are), that can be stable for a long time. But even here, the barrel eventually fills up.

Specifically, the only help is: to clarify as much as possible IN ADVANCE, to have concrete, illustrated plans that both agree on. There is agreement on details like plaster, window colors, stair railings, etc. before construction begins.

If possible. There is the faction "I have to see it in real life first, I can't imagine it." Some hurdles will have to be overcome during construction.
 

rick2018

2019-05-02 07:56:43
  • #3
As the saying goes, "The man builds the house and the woman furnishes it." As has been written several times by others, minor visual details (like the color of the tiles) should not shake a relationship. There are probably other problems. Of course, building a house is stressful and an additional burden. If finances become tight, nerves are on edge. For us, it works without major problems or conflicts. Although I pay for the house, my wife is equal. For planning matters, we sit together, discuss pros and cons, and then make a decision. She is not very interested in technology. Preferably hidden, it must work and be easy to use. When it comes to furnishings and visual things, I give her quite a free hand because she has a better eye for it. My happiness does not depend on whether the tiles are brownish or gray. If she wants it that way, fine. At the beginning, she was not very keen on the Bauhaus style. After we had looked at several objects, she realized that Bauhaus does not mean empty and uncomfortable. On the contrary, done right, it exudes a sense of security. Naturally with clear lines. By now, she is enthusiastic about it. I attend many appointments alone because she has to work. We talk beforehand and sometimes there is a text message to clarify things in between. I decide most things alone at the table. For big things or what strongly influences the character of the house, I take samples with me or there is another joint appointment. Building a house is a great project and should make both happy in the end. If things go wrong already in the planning phase, one should reconsider the whole thing (and the life situation at the same time).
 

haydee

2019-05-02 08:18:12
  • #4
Previously agreed
Model homes, friends, etc. how do you like them
Then you already know the other person's no-gos
Some things don't fit with the house
Some decisions are ultimately made by the budget
Otherwise, what is important to the other person. Electronics my husband, garden probably me, etc.

Most people I know have problems because of personal contribution and finances
 

lastdrop

2019-05-02 08:49:50
  • #5
Not to build, but to buy existing properties. This eliminates 99% of all voting items.
 

Maria16

2019-05-02 08:50:31
  • #6
Chand, but it has to fit the type. If I had tried to clarify everything beforehand, we wouldn’t be together anymore. I probably would have overdone it for him and planned too much in detail, whereas for my partner it was already too early to have to deal with the kitchen issue while the electrician was working and wanted an electrical plan.

Whoever stubbornly wants to enforce their character (me planning everything beforehand vs. him little by little and only when necessary) loses. The approach has to roughly suit both in the end.
 

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