How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Many things here speak to my soul, while I consider other statements to be character-wise inappropriate.
Marriage is a community of accrued gains. We started in 1983 with a Renault R4, red, with polyester-repaired body panels, some cheap furniture and a rented apartment, and 1200 marks with me and about the same with her. Everything we acquired, built up and earned in the following years is ours. We never had separate accounts, always one account. One. We always filed our income tax according to the splitting table, yours and mine make one. And there was never the phrase, but that is actually my money.... Such power games have no place in marriage and kill all love and replace it with relations of dependency. Karsten

That fits with the XYZ YouTube influencer generation. Separate accounts, transfer payments during part-time with child. Fixed contracts about when and how intercourse must take place in order to be allowed to decide on the wallpaper.

Nowadays, when establishing a household, one usually opens a separate household account, to which both deposit money monthly and from which everything is then paid. Tax and utility reimbursements, cash gifts, etc., of course also go into it. No arguments. In addition, I can buy birthday and Christmas presents without her knowing anything about it. Conversely, I wouldn't want to constantly see various debits from Zalando, Douglas, and the like. As long as it works with one account, everything is fine. But if a separation should happen, then the drama begins and, at the latest, the authorities will anyway look into who contributed and earned what.

When separating, the joint account is the least of the problems. I find it surprising anyway that there are few to no threads here about current separations and dealing with the house. I don't even want to know how many of the former writers no longer have their place.

I also think that the joint account is the least of the problems in case of a breakup.

Until recently, we also had the solution with the joint household account - but at some point, we got tired of it. Since the end of last year, we have had a joint account and I find that much less stressful.

We will explicitly regulate the status quo through a marriage contract and a will. I have contributed significantly more equity and also earn more - that will be reflected in how we handle the house and other assets in the EVENT OF SEPARATION.
But I would never come up with the idea to say: listen, I earn more and also paid more for the house, so now we take the flooring I want, whether you like it or not, I don’t care, because the one who pays calls the shots.
How ridiculous is that?

If I were wired like that, I would build MY house and that alone, and if the partner is sweet and nice and good enough, he/she may move in and kiss my feet every day out of gratitude.

We are building OUR house and it is essential to me that my partner also finds himself/herself in it, even if he has contributed significantly less financially - and I would rather have my feet massaged than kissed (although I find there is a clear deficit there - he doesn’t *g*).

We will explicitly regulate vested rights through a prenuptial agreement and a will. I have contributed significantly more equity and also earn more – this will be reflected in how we handle the house and other assets in the event of a separation.
But I would never think of saying: listen, I earn more

How do you assess the additional earnings during the marriage?

I can now express that in % - but I don't yet know if we will do it. That's a look into the crystal ball - he is quite a bit younger than me and will probably earn significantly more over the years, while my increase will be moderate. We are still discussing this with the notary, we are certainly not the only ones in this situation and he will surely have a suitable solution.

In any case, we will record and evaluate the ownership at the current point in time. What then comes together during the marriage, I can also live with a parity ratio.