How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Regardless of separate or joint accounts, the most important thing is that you always face your partner "on equal footing."

As mentioned several times in this topic, there is also the possibility of a prenuptial agreement (which I definitely support). This is notarized once in a good partnership and then put away. Topic thus settled.

What I cannot understand (especially among friends) are partnerships where even the tiniest purchase, for example at the supermarket, is meticulously calculated so that no one pays 50 cents too much... Completely unnecessary stuff.

Best regards

I have been wondering for quite some time about the discussion here. We are all building or have a house, so we are not struggling financially. All those who are now typing heated messages here earn enough that money should not play a role in everyday life in the current situation, if one has budgeted sensibly. For example, we each have a salary account (that's it) and had a savings rate of 2k€ to 1k€. After moving in, it will be 1k€ to 1k€ (with different salaries). What the money is then spent on, we will decide together as always. I couldn’t care less who pays or spends more or less. What good is all the cash in the account and the house if the wife leaves because a) she does not feel comfortable in the house because she couldn’t have a say, and b) she can’t buy anything because she runs out of money? Exactly nothing. And yes, I always politely ask if I may buy an iPhone for 1200€ with my money. Even if the answer is often no, that’s how it should be because we live together and despite separate accounts, it is our money.

Who has the say when it comes to vacation? The high earner with the fat account who wants to book the Maldives. And the low earner?? Are they supposed to save up for that?? Hmm

You really don’t get it — or you don’t want to. Doesn’t matter. I’m talking about PARTNERSHIP — not a random cohabitation of two individuals. Do you really think that in a partnership one says: hey, I’m going to the Maldives — what, you don’t have enough money? Tough luck, you just vacation on the balcony — see you in two weeks! But apparently that’s your horizon...

I'm only joining the discussion now, maybe that's why I missed something, but the Maldives thing interests me now....

If one person earns a lot more because they decided to sell their soul to the company and work 50+ hours... and the other prefers a quiet life, enjoys it, and works less....

How do you manage that all fairly?

The rich one really wants to go all out and spend 2 weeks in the Maldives with everything included, the other doesn’t really care that much, but you want to go on vacation together – does the rich one pay for the vacation? Or does the poor one have to save up for the vacation?

If you have joint accounts with such a disparity, can everyone still spend as much as they want until the money runs out? Does the poor one then get a 1200 euro phone that they otherwise couldn’t afford?

Does it make a difference whether you're married or not? Whether the low income is self-chosen or not? Whether the "poor" one runs the household and the "rich" one can work more because of that?

So, I don't have an answer to that either and all my acquaintances see it differently too.

You really don’t get it – or you don’t want to. Doesn’t matter. I’m talking about PARTNERSHIP – not about a random cohabitation of two individuals. Do you really think in a partnership one says: hey, I’m going to the Maldives – what, you don’t have enough money? Too bad, you just take a vacation on the balcony – see you in two weeks! But obviously, that’s your horizon...

No, I just don’t understand how you manage something like that with two accounts. Just like if, for example, children come along and one partner has to cut back and earns less. Does he then get a compensation payment? Who gets which tax class? 4/4? How does it look with cars, one an A6, the other a Fiat Punto? Maybe you can enlighten me. Sounds like a lot of administration.

Oh, what twisted thoughts: The normal case is probably, whether 1 or 2 accounts, that both plan their vacation days and report them to the company, if necessary taking into account the children’s holidays. Then there will be a main vacation that they have together, and the couple/family will probably discuss together what we want. we. Not I. And the vacation will then be paid from the joint account or from the account that has more funds. - but together is easier. One less coordination step.