Oh man, when I read some views here, my facial expressions go berserk... And I’m just glad that I’m building my own house!
In my previous long-term relationship, each partner had their own financial obligations that only concerned them. In my case, an expensive hobby, in his case a child to support and, of course, HIS house. That was the reason the finances remained separate.
We shared common things (shopping, costs for the common children who came along later, vacation), but otherwise each had their own money. I paid for my clothes, my hobby, my lunch in the canteen, and my car myself. At times, I also paid rent since we lived in his house (then less or none during child-related part-time work).
For example, he put every cent into repaying his loan. And that would have included everything that would have been "left over" for me if we had just pooled everything together. And at the latest at that point, I would have raised hell, it’s his house, we weren’t even married... in case of a breakup I would have been left empty-handed.
Whoever, as one member here wrote, starts the marriage with "nothing," can probably pool finances, but if each already has a history that also has financial consequences, one has to think differently and can also come to a different solution.
Most people hesitate to even bring up during the romantic phase: what if that changes? Because no one wants to admit that the relationship might fail later, even with the best intentions. And when it does come to that, all hell breaks loose... Only those who have already had bad experiences themselves or have witnessed them very closely in others make arrangements. A little general life wisdom, also in financial matters, would certainly do many people, especially women, some good. Example: buying a car, my ex wanted "us" to buy a new family car together. Since we weren't married, it could only belong to one person – him, of course. The life wisdom in this case lies in knowing that if you don't arrange anything else, it's HIS car, not OURS, no matter who put how much into the pot for payment. How to deal with it then is left to the respective couple. Many just lack this knowledge.If he or she brings 1 million into the marriage or the other party brings nothing, then they don't care about this at all. Everything belongs to both, and in case of a separation, one gives everything to the other, because man/woman is free from material things and one is fair.
Because here in the forum most have been happily married for over 50 years and really share everything! And when two have only just gotten together, money and materialism don't matter at all and everything is pooled.
If she or he brings 1 million into the marriage or the other party nothing, it doesn’t matter to them here either. Everything belongs to both and in case of a separation, one gives everything to the other, because man/woman is free from material things and one is fair.