How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

We don’t have children and no one keeps their back free.

2x similar salary

A joint account for all fixed costs is equally funded by both via standing orders.

Shared household money is thrown into the pot 50/50 every month.

And that’s it. If we want to order something, it often means: "I’m in the mood for this or that today, my treat." Same when eating out. We have similar attitudes toward vacation trips: highly overrated.

The ordering and return orgies that sometimes happen with us leave me relaxed.

Problems? Nope.

We do exactly the same 1:1. Except that we both like to travel and gladly spend more on it sometimes. But that is also split 50/50. Why not? We earn similarly and have no children. Also, for me, something as trivial as having my own account is part of independence. I met my partner when he was over 30. So everything also worked perfectly on its own for years. Why merge everything now?

Even the couples with children in our circle of friends all kept their own accounts. Maybe it’s an age thing. In my parents’ circle of friends, many only have a joint account. But there, the women have either never worked or worked significantly less all their lives. In my environment, women are out at the latest after two years.

Well, buckwheat, then we fall outside the norm - we now have a joint account and find it convenient. Although I don't want to convert anyone, those who want separate accounts should have them. It just annoys me that some people here conclude the nature of the partnership based on their account setup - that's rubbish. Everyone as they please - there are pros and cons for everything.

See it like Climbee.

Relationships work in the long term through commonalities, shared values, shared attitudes. Not through joint accounts.

With us, I see the additional benefit in the fact that one of the differences lies in consumption behavior (spendthrift vs. miser would be exaggerated though).

A joint account makes particular sense when one partner gives up earning possibilities because they are engaged at home (prototypically child-rearing).

Interestingly, I know a couple personally where he does not do any gainful employment and she earns quite well and fills the joint account. Background: After her passing, his grandmother bequeathed him and his siblings an old 1950s house, in need of renovation, but in a great location with a large plot of land. The two of them bought out the siblings who didn’t want the "box" with their own capital.
He has been renovating in total self-performance for over 18 months, occasionally doing short internships with master craftsmen. Underfloor heating, great flooring, mechanical ventilation, new electrical and plumbing, KNX on a small scale. He even carpenters all non-upholstered furniture himself. They have been living on the constantly changing construction site since the basis was laid. Values in the six-figure range have certainly been created through his efforts, but without her job there would be no liquidity (and no statutory health insurance!).

Perfect teamwork and joint account, even though his contribution to the income is zero. Purely from an accounting perspective, she pays for his work on the house. But neither of them sees it that way, really cool guys.

A completely different model than ours and also than classic models. However, it works because of the shared goals, the joint account here is simply the most practical form of organization, not a core point of the relationship. This is what I wanted to illustrate with the story.

I see it the same way as Climbee. Relationships work in the long term through commonalities, shared values, shared attitudes. Not through joint accounts. In our case, I see the added benefit that one of the differences lies in consumption behavior (spendthrift vs. miser would be an exaggeration though). A joint account makes especially good sense when one partner foregoes earning opportunities because they are engaged at home (prototypically child-rearing). Interestingly, I know a couple closely where he does not do any gainful employment at all and she earns quite well and fills the joint account. Background: His grandmother bequeathed him and siblings an old 1950s house after her passing, in need of renovation but in a great location with a large plot. The two have bought out the siblings who "didn’t want the place" with their own capital. He has been renovating for over 18 months entirely by himself, occasionally doing short internships with master craftsmen. Underfloor heating, great floor, residential ventilation, new electrical and plumbing, KNX on a small scale. He even makes all the non-upholstered furniture himself. They live on the ever-changing construction site since the basics were laid. Surely, six-figure values have been created through his efforts, but without her job, there would be no liquidity (and no public health insurance!). Perfect teamwork and joint account, although his contribution to income is zero. Purely from an accounting perspective, she pays for his work on the house. But neither of them sees it that way, very cool guys. A completely different model than ours and classic models too. But it works because of the shared goals; the joint account here is simply the most practical organizational form, not a core point of the relationship. That’s what I wanted to illustrate with the story.

Well, then I just hope they stay together ... I have the same constellation in my circle of acquaintances .... house was never finished, after years he moved to Thailand and she has to pay him alimony

The house is finished. The kitchen, which is to be made by oneself, is still missing.

The only external trade were the plasterers. Even the staircase was self-built. It's pretty nerdy.

Nowadays, when starting a household, people usually open a separate household account to which both contribute monthly, and from which everything is then paid. Tax and utility reimbursements, money gifts, etc. also naturally go into it.

I have also noticed that many handle the "naturally" in this way. Often also with tax class distribution V/III. Nice and stupid of those who agree to that. I don't care at all who separates or combines accounts, but if you separate, then do it properly – and fairly dividing the tax refund or additional tax payment is anything but trivial. We came, via the intermediate steps of "joint household account" and "joint main account plus a pocket money account for each," to the only joint account, but we carry out detailed budget planning and each has their own private pocket money category within it. That works well for us. All money that comes in is ours and we plan it together (of course except for money gifts explicitly given to one of us).