How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

2019-05-04 23:41:49

I think there should definitely be gratitude, humility, and quite a bit more willingness to compromise on the part of the party that doesn’t contribute financially (for whatever reasons).

Oh... so I’m supposed to keep my mouth shut because I just entertain OUR child every day, cook for him, put him to bed, bathe him, manage OUR household on the side (of course including laundry, dirty dishes, etc. caused by my husband), so that he has time to work a full-time job, while I "contribute nothing"? I could never be with a man who thinks like that, let alone be married to him.

2019-05-04 23:43:47

I think there should definitely be gratitude, humility, and quite possibly a greater willingness to compromise in the party that brings in no money (for whatever reasons).

No money can very much lead to relationship problems, as hardships arise. But if there is money for living, no matter who brings it in, you no longer need to take it so seriously. Keeping score rarely makes anyone satisfied.

2019-05-05 00:06:35

Oh, so... I’m supposed to keep my mouth shut,

No, you’re supposed to kiss the feet – out of gratitude. And be very, very small. Quiet! Be silent.

“And all my friends
Find that I am quieter
That I am quieter, quieter since I’ve been with you”

That’s called respect

2019-05-05 00:47:10

Gratitude and humility aren't really your thing then? Interesting... I wouldn't have expected that at all, since you are all so sweet and perfect...

... "kissing feet," "shut up," "be quiet," etc...
I must have hit a nerve.

When money is there, you indeed don't have to take it as seriously anymore. But it first has to be there. Furthermore, one does not exclude the other. So you can quite well not take the money you have too seriously and at the same time still be grateful and humble.

2019-05-05 02:19:02

You are all right, in my opinion. A house is a partnership project and both parties should be on equal footing when making decisions.

But if one party does not take on a part of the partnership, they cannot make demands for that part.

You always assume that the couple has been together for 50 years, the man earns 200k, and the woman has 4 children and previously had a highly paid hospital chief job...

There are other kinds of partnerships too. For example, one where the two have known each other for 2-3 years and both are planning a future together at that moment, SHE has inherited 500k and HE is a DJ who occasionally has a gig on weekends. Now the two want to move into a house and HE wants a man-cave, sauna, foosball table in the hallway, a "workroom" for his DJ stuff, and the living room in dark wood look.

According to you, she is supposed to sit down with him and find compromises... yeah right... You are such good people with such a wonderful character.

I would like to see how charitable and willing to compromise you are when your daughter comes up with such a plan at marriageable age...

But acting understanding and willing to compromise here in the forum is well received. You are all just much better people than I am.

In this sense... have fun paying it off.

As long as he takes care of the children during the week, it's okay.

2019-05-05 07:50:03

I can’t remember any disagreements during the renovation phase. We briefly discussed everything, agreed on it, and where it didn’t matter to my husband, I decided and he just nodded along. I only stayed out of the electrical work; it was only clear what budget he had.

Here in the forum, however, some people are extremely perfectionistic and plan all sorts of things incredibly detailed. I think that inevitably leads to more problems than with us. From purchase to move-in, we only had 7 months, did a lot ourselves, and the budget was tight, plus two small children. We had neither the time, money, nor inclination to argue about tiles.

How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Yosan

hampshire

ypg

Farilo

HilfeHilfe

Winniefred