Hats off to that, that's exactly how it is!I am a friend of clear rules. However, these should not be one-sided (e.g. mutual desire to have children, wife stays at home takes care of education, household... enables the man to work full-time, etc.). Such things should be taken into account and not only who receives how much on their account per month.
Hi Rick2018, of course I understood that... But that's just how it is. You can get upset all you want. It's annoying, yes. But that's how it is. Things upset me too, but that's life. Just because you get upset about something doesn't mean it's wrong. We don't need to discuss the fact that the financially stronger partner doesn't make this an issue daily. But you can definitely talk about the fact that the financially weaker partner can also occasionally show gratitude and humility. It doesn't have to be a daily thank you by making a sandwich and out of humility only going outside dressed in a bedsheet. Instead, sometimes just step back. Even if the pink wallpaper in the living room has always been the wish, you can keep that wish to yourself sometimes instead of rubbing it in the financially stronger partner's face once a week. You don't have to explain to your partner over and over how great the Vorwerk vacuum robot for 3k is, or the front door for 15k, or the gray aluminum/wood window for 5k, or or or. You can also sometimes thank your partner sincerely for what is there. It doesn't hurt. Here on the forum, I only hear demands for better, higher, further, faster, more, more, more, and those who don't have are "below" others. I feel sorry for some people who quietly read along here and maybe take it to heart. But everything will be fine.I think the upset wasn't about creating clear financial structures in a relationship, but that the financially stronger person automatically always has the decision-making power.
Hello Bernd, And what exactly do you want to tell me with this post? Because basically you confirm what I said...If this is supposed to be irony: Pretty unsuccessful (my assessment). The initial question was: How did you resolve disagreements? Money was not mentioned at all at first. Moreover, there are more people like Nordlys: We have also, for ages, shared all accounts, portfolios, safe deposit boxes and now finally the house as well. It's been working very well for over 30 years; we don’t even think about it. And disagreements about details: They probably always exist everywhere, otherwise you would be living completely alone on an island...
I find it surprising anyway that there are few to no threads here about recent breakups and dealing with the house. I don't even want to know how many of the former posters no longer have their place.
Of course, we don't need to discuss that the financially stronger party doesn't make this fact a daily topic.
However, one can certainly discuss that the financially weaker party could, as an exception, once in a while show gratitude and modesty.