How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Happy wife, happy life. That is also a telling saying because it makes the woman into a Barbie doll, who is pacified with a convertible and a gold chain so that she willingly in the evening.....Your view of women is disrespectful. Karsten

You demand gratitude and humility. That's how it reads.

If you read it that way, that is your decision.

I do not demand gratitude in the relationship. I assume it.

I would NOT want an ungrateful partner by my side.
If you can deal with an ungrateful partner, however, I respect that.

Happy wife, happy life. That is also a telling saying because it turns the woman into a Barbie, who is pacified with a convertible and a gold chain, so that she willingly in the evening.....Your view of women is disrespectful. Karsten

Hello Karsten,
your interpretation already says a lot about you. Because interpreting what I reproduced the way you do requires a fair amount of ignorance. However, I do not attribute that to you at all. So what remains is the pitiful attempt to present yourself as someone who understands women. That, in turn, has worked.

Personally, I do NOT live by the motto "Happy wife, happy life." My partner lives a very independent life. That is why we are together.

But hey... you are old enough and know what you are writing...

The "problem" is just that a certain faction here wants to make it clear that they are better people because they (allegedly) really share everything, absolutely everything with their partner and also want to sell that to you as the "norm." Just like the carport for 30k or the front door for 15k. Anyone who doesn't do/have that is basically abnormal...

You don't seriously expect a representative cross-section of society here, do you? How naive is that! No one wants to explain anything to you here. If you find the topics "disputes over the house" and "badly ending partnerships" interesting, look for the corresponding forum. Even there, "normality" is not represented. The Internet and the forums are just little bubbles. If you look around the world, you will find very little "normality" in Central Europe at all. Here there is peace, hardly any hunger, and time for problems that people who are not doing so well do not have. With this thought, simply having been lucky in the birth lottery, one can be grateful all their life.

What does that have to do with our topic? My wife and I are aware of our very fortunate situation and simply do not take seriously enough the challenges we face in building our house to argue about them. Sometimes something is just more expensive, sometimes you just have to do without something, sometimes a color or shape simply looks different. Put that in a healthy perspective and any argument, for example about money and construction execution, simply becomes ridiculous.

And with laughter, you can achieve a lot. Most of the "shice," as you often say, is simply irrelevant when you take a step back from a situation.

I do not demand gratitude in a relationship. I take it for granted.

I find that sick, sorry. I do not take gratitude for granted in a relationship! For what? That I put up with the guy? That I "sacrificed" myself??? That I spend my money on a house in which my partner, being the financially weaker party, may live humbly but absolutely must not make any decisions? Helloooooo?

Why should your partner be "grateful"? That she is allowed to live by your side? How majestic!

For me, partnership is something mutual, a give and take – certainly sometimes with times when one gives more and the other takes more. With the knowledge: other times will come again.

Maybe you express it clumsily – I hope so – but this gratitude babble has no place in a sustainable, modern relationship.

Be concrete for once, instead of scattering ethereal platitudes about paying for music.

Exactly who is allowed to do what and what not in a relationship to your liking, if, let’s say, only one partner works and the other takes care of the children? Who should be grateful to whom here?

And what exactly do you mean by gratitude? Reminds me of the many stories where the abandoned rich guy complains afterward that he gave everything to the relationship (and means money, because he has no clue about the more essential rest).

Possibly you are also using the term "gratitude" carelessly. Do you mean "mutual appreciation"? But that is something entirely different!

Gratitude is something I show to people who have helped me with an act that is not taken for granted. But in a relationship, many things are taken for granted and thus gratitude is not appropriate – on the other hand, there is appreciation. The more self-evident the mutual support is, the less gratitude is appropriate and it should be replaced by appreciation.

And if you work with the angle of "gratitude," it has a whiff of performance and counterperformance, know your place. And all that even "as a prerequisite"?? Seriously?

Maybe you mean that quite differently.