How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Tighten your belt, don't spend more than you have. Right. It's unfashionable in the leasing world, but correct.

True. Also regarding the income levels of both partners, that can change drastically over the course of living together; you never know beforehand. When we met, we had no money and were happy. Today we have some and are still happy. Hardly any differences can be noticed compared to back then except: you sleep more peacefully.

We had little debt in life. Never consumer debt. Ditto, that's the most relaxed way to live. No pressure...

, you are totally missing the point about "right to have a say" with your gratitude story

If this was supposed to be irony: Pretty unsuccessful (my assessment). The initial question was: How did you resolve disagreements?

It's about nest building in partnerships.
How you deal with your pearl doesn’t matter at all. In your case, these disagreements shouldn’t even exist since you have a different partner constellation.

This is about equal partners trying to find common ground.

And yes, equality also means giving everyone the same right to have a say in the various tasks within the partnership (one brings the money home, the other looks after the offspring, or however it is arranged). Because one cannot do without the other! If one doesn’t care or the other has better taste, you try to take that into account in the partnership and reach an agreement.
The "give and take" or "contributing something to the partnership" is not just about making money and paying, but also about "caring," nurturing, and much more. And in most relationships and partnerships, there will be a balance. One cannot do without the other... Otherwise, there is an imbalance. And yes, of course: then gratitude comes into play...
However, this thread is about the already existing right to have a say and not about the question whether partners who contribute relatively little should at all get such a right.
Other topics can be discussed elsewhere, but here it is about this topic, see above.

it is not always like that. At least not with us. I agree with you that a partner should not always demand. But expressing wishes is legitimate. Even if a decision goes against it, it should not be done with the "I earn the money, period" argument. Your wording was a bit clumsy if that’s what you meant.

even in a community of accrued gains, possession before the marriage is secured in case of separation. Just like inheritances. Those do not automatically count.

Hi Rick,

the "problem" is just that a certain faction wants to make it clear that they are better people because they (allegedly) really share everything with their partner, and they even want to sell that as the "norm." Just like the carport for 30k or the front door for 15k. Whoever doesn't do/have that is basically abnormal...

In addition, you can secure it by prenuptial agreement, etc.
It’s more about partnership. And it’s just not that if I always pull the “money card” and outvote the other.
With us, everything was clearly arranged before we got married. Ideally, you never need the documents again. If things go badly, everything is fixed, and that on a basis where you understood each other.
I am a fan of clear arrangements. But these should not be one-sided (e.g., mutual desire for children, wife stays home, takes care of child-rearing, household... enables the man to work full-time, etc.). Such things should be taken into account and not just who gets how much money deposited into their account each month.

You see. And it’s the same with me. Only that I (at least so far) do not do this with a prenuptial agreement, but have connected it beforehand with a certain philosophy or certain values, so this problem does not even arise.

People who have to pull the money card to get their way have it tough... Wrong/inappropriate partner? You never know...

For me, it has always been clear: Whoever wants to dance must also pay for the band/music. Not paying and still choosing every song doesn’t work in the long run...

, you are completely missing the point about "having a say" with your gratitude story

Having a say comes with participation. Expressing wishes is fine. It’s also fun to fulfill them for your partner. But demanding wishes is not. Quite simple. If you handle it differently, that’s great... for your partner. You all then live by the principle: happy wife, happy life. That’s fine. For those who need it...

There is a say in participation.

It seems that your "partner" is not involved in the relationship.

But demanding wishes is not. Quite simple.

You demand gratitude and modesty. That's how it reads.

That's fine. For those who need it...

Well, gratitude and modesty have little to do with money.
Grateful can also be someone who is cared for or looked after by the other, without being able to give something equivalent back.
Modest can also be someone who has a lot of money. Several here have saved their house budget...