How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

It only reinforces my statement that she is building the house for herself, which is okay given the circumstances. The partner is just an accessory to not be alone, also completely legitimate.

Will he pay rent in the future or does he have to work off the rent?

Work off? Rather....

No personal contribution before moving in

That’s probably why you didn’t argue... that’s when things get down to the nitty-gritty... when your strength is running out and your nerves are frayed... and tomorrow morning the tradesman is at the door but will leave again if you’re not finished

But isn't that rather the fundamental question of how the relationship is going? SHE is a rich heiress, HE is an unsuccessful artist – if HE then makes demands and basically plans the whole house so that it is HIS dream, without listening to his wife, something is going wrong. And not just in the planning, but in the relationship.

There are so many small and bigger decisions in everyday life – how does that work with such couples? Going out to eat – does the one with more money decide where and what is eaten? Vacation – does the one with more money decide on the destination? Shopping – does the one with more money decide what is bought and eaten? Oh no!

Although I – forgive me for saying – still believe in common sense. Especially when both partners have very different incomes – even without children. Example: One can’t then be the person with less money who wants to decide on a luxury vacation, although the one who earns more would rather go hiking in the mountains. Something is off. And not because one wants to spend money they would never earn with their work, but rather on an interpersonal level. Why does one want a luxury vacation, but the other simply a quiet and calm one? Do their ideas really fit; not just regarding vacations, but also life, progress, happiness? Don’t they talk to each other “during the year,” where, in this example of vacation, it would already become clear what one wants? Or are they just two people who live with/next to each other because it just happened that way and now tolerate each other?

How is that to be understood? He who pays the piper calls the tune?

And maybe the different need for a mountain vacation or luxury trip simply comes down to the fact that he constantly travels at the company's expense and now wants peace... and she finally wants to get away and let loose... because she’s always stuck at home with the kids anyway...

So why don’t they just fit together???

That's probably because you haven't argued... that's when it gets serious... when your strength is running out and your nerves are frayed... and tomorrow morning the craftsman is at the door and will leave again if you're not finished

Among other things, yes

Most arguments are about personal effort and money. Not about the tile format. It's just difficult when there isn't enough for the wishes and not enough for everyday life. Just as when you work after work, on weekends, and during holidays. It’s not done with 2 or 3 Saturdays.

How should one understand that? Whoever pays calls the shots?

And maybe the different desire for a mountain vacation or luxury trip simply and plainly comes from the fact that he is constantly traveling on the company's dime and now wants some peace.... and she finally wants to get away and paint the town red... because she is always stuck at home with the kids...

Why don't they just fit together then???

Whoever pays calls the shots? Not at all. But why—in the hypothetical example—does he want to hike if he knows she wants luxury? And why does she want luxury if she knows he wants peace? You talk to each other, after all. You know how the other one ticks. So why insist on something you know your partner doesn’t want? That’s kind of like if my husband goes to buy a new jacket and comes back with a tight pink women's fur jacket. I’d be pretty surprised and puzzled, especially because I hadn’t noticed that inclination before and would have assumed he’d buy a jacket similar to the last one.

I think there should definitely be gratitude, modesty, and quite a bit more willingness to compromise in the party that does not contribute financially (for whatever reasons).

For example, if I meet a woman and we have lived together for 5 years, but she inherits 800,000 EUROS or has saved that herself and spends it on a house, and I cannot contribute financially, then I would be very, very quiet!

I would naturally always want to step back and let her take the lead when it comes to the house issue. I mean, that's not my money!
We can talk around it all we want... It wasn’t mine, is not mine, and will never be mine. I wouldn’t want it any other way. In other words, I would never take the audacity to tell her what she should build and how, etc. etc.

Of course, I would stand by her with advice and help proactively. But demand/require??? NOTHING! On the contrary!
I would be very, very grateful and contribute financially as much as I can (shopping or whatever). Even if that is nothing in comparison. And I would NOT demand anything in return for that. After all, I am already allowed to use and enjoy everything.

For ME personally, a partnership has NOTHING to do with material things... A partnership consists of much more important things than trying to get an entry in the land register, or whatever...

I could never be with a woman who does not share these values.

Gratitude is very important to me. Some people here seem to forget that in the heat of the moment. Modesty is a virtue!

P.S.: ( ) Please excuse if the scenario mentioned above, i.e. that the woman carries all financial burdens, is so far from your/your expectations.
On the other hand, I find both this scenario and the previous scenario (weekend DJ) extremely realistic. (Especially because I know the person to whom it somewhat applies.)
If "CoolCat" finds such a scenario too exciting and/or too foreign, then I think that's a pity for you. There are many more people out there who are all different. Not all people are "9 to 5ers," have 2 kids, and jointly pay off the house (in whatever form).

With that said
Have a nice weekend