How did you resolve disagreements with your partner?

Perhaps I am naive, but despite very different incomes, we do not create any disadvantage or advantage for either one as a result.

However, we still need to go to the notary to prepare for death and illness.

I can express that now in %, but I don’t yet know if we will do it. It’s like looking into a crystal ball – he is quite a bit younger than I am and will probably earn significantly more over the years, while my increase will be moderate. We are still discussing that with the notary, we are certainly not the only ones in this situation and he will surely have a suitable solution.

In any case, we will record and assess the ownership situation as it stands now. What then accumulates jointly during the marriage, I can also live with an equal sharing ratio.

Yes, and hmm your wife is allowed to have children and earn less and later have disadvantages in retirement??

I am the woman and the child issue is settled with us - I am 52. We do not have to take that into account.

And this is not about pension entitlements, but about vested rights. My credo to all women is anyway: don’t stay stuck in the child trap forever - always think about the pension. But that doesn’t have anything directly to do with a house. I can also grow old in peace with my husband, I own half of our shared house, but since I stopped working because of the children in my early thirties and never went back to full-time work, my pension will be meager. But that is independent of the house.
And I do believe that whoever brings what and how much into the marriage also keeps it in case of a separation. I’m not a lawyer, but as far as I know, that is also the gist of the community of accrued gains: everything that comes into the marriage belongs to both equally, what was there before remains as it was.

Oh man, when I read some views here, my facial expressions fall apart... And I'm just glad that I'm building my own house!

In my previous long-term relationship, each partner had their own financial obligations that only concerned them. In my case, an expensive hobby; in his case, a child to support and, of course, HIS house. That was the reason the finances remained separate.
We shared common things (shopping, costs for the shared children who then arrived, vacation), otherwise, each had their own money. I paid for my clothes, my hobby, my lunch at the canteen, and my car myself. At times, I also paid rent since we lived in his house (with reduced or no rent during child-related part-time work).
He, for example, put every cent into repaying his loan. And that would have affected everything that would have been "left over" for me if we had just pooled everything together. And at the latest at that point, I would have gone up in arms; it’s his house, we were not married... in the event of a separation, I would have been left empty-handed.

Anyone who, as a member here wrote, starts marriage with "nothing" can probably pool resources, but if everyone already has a history that also has financial consequences, you have to think differently and may come to a different solution.

Maybe I am naive, but despite very different incomes, we do not create any disadvantage/advantage for one or the other as a result.

We still have to go to the notary to prepare ourselves for death and illness.

Berlin will and that's it. No need for a notary. Waste of money.

Regarding Climbee and "Kinderfalle":
Of course, from your point of view, my wife would be in this. But these are not her children, but our children, whom she has conceived, carried, and born due to biological facts. Knowing this, we have, of course, considered how it would be if I die first or if we separate. Separation: To her benefit, there was a very substantial life insurance, which we have now invested in the house, because if we still like each other now, that won’t change in the last years either. Dying before her: that is probably more likely, I am older and a man and therefore have less life expectancy. She has, in addition to her own pension, 60% of the pension and a Riester plan, so she would have a paid-off house and just under three thousand a month. That should be manageable. Carsten

When it comes to a separation, the joint account is the least of the problems. I actually find it surprising that there are few to no threads here about current separations and dealing with the house. I don’t even want to know how many of the former posters no longer have their place.

Well... If people in this forum talk endlessly about how fair, sensitive, accommodating, and without a sense of ownership they are and condemn anyone who has a prenup or separate accounts, then it becomes hard to admit that although many things went according to plan, that plan was crap.

In my opinion, the "classic" joint account is becoming increasingly rare. Women are more independent than in the 50s and rightly want to be/feel independent and pursue a career. Once that is the case, they naturally also think about where THEIR money goes. Rightly so!

Sure, many women (and men) here in the forum are wired in such a way that their salary belongs 100% to their beloved and they don’t even look at the money, and togetherness is sacred anyway and everything is shared and great and "fair" and if someone thinks differently, then he doesn’t love his partner or he/she is in a wrong relationship. But there are other women outside this forum. Especially among younger women, this is the case.

I would love to read how many here in the forum lost their house because of a divorce/separation and above all, whether they would do things exactly the same again or rather take a prenup, separate accounts, or something else.

That would be interesting!

In the real world, I keep hearing from men that they would never marry again and if they did, only with a very clear prenup.

In the real world, I also sometimes hear from women who made a financial "killing" in the divorce and other women congratulate them for it.

But I strongly assume that I am the absolute exception and live in a very, very bad environment and only know absolutely bad people...