When the dream of the house bursts

When I was in elementary school, ten children were driven to school in the morning (they lived farthest away and had a federal highway on their way to school). Meanwhile (four decades later, and now I live near the same school) it is the other way around: now only ten children are not driven.

Even back then there were lively social discussions about education and upbringing, but I cannot remember demands for societal ostracism of alternative educators as venomous as today’s. Is it really just my senility, or could it be that the witch hunts were actually milder back then?

I don't know how I would see certain things if I had children. But a change in perspective cannot justify everything.

As an association, parents now see us as service providers. That was different just 15 years ago. Back then, it was clear that you join a community of solidarity for 10 euros a month, a community you have to contribute to. Today, the same is regarded as a service that is simply offered to you. Now for 12€/month. And that's how the parents act as well. The offspring show that they are not entirely lost yet; sometimes the lagging social behavior suddenly blossoms: how do I manage to get along in groups of mixed ages outside my peer group? This valuable soft skill is nowadays actively unlearned by a certain class of parents, it seems to me. The successful, competitive individualist is the target. The result, of course, is an unindependent cooperation-dyslexic. And sometimes, they are seriously dropped off with us so that the volunteer supervision can fix what the parents have messed up despite (or because of?) reading entire shelves of parenting guides.

When I very subtly and indirectly suggest that the error should be addressed elsewhere, the reactions are complete refusal, total outrage, or the arrogant "you just have kids yourself."

I don’t, admittedly. But I had parents and a upbringing.

The successful, competitive "Ichling" is the target model. What comes out, of course, is an unindependent cooperation dyslexic.

Where are the golden frames here?

The "Ichling," trained to aim for at least second place in a hierarchy, crashes headfirst in a Scrum reality.

Ichling is so typically German. I, I, I and once again I, meanwhile the elbows are being sharpened.

11ant back then I was still in elementary school, so mid-80s, a line was drawn. Until there, parents were allowed to drive their children and no further. The principal said otherwise the parents would park in the classroom.

I have started a discussion again.

Good morning everyone

1. Nonsense, women over 35 are not high-risk pregnant

Of course. Just look at the maternity record, it is checked as no suspicion. As a result, the care program is significantly more extensive from age 35, for example, detailed diagnostics – which otherwise is only paid by the insurance in case of suspicion – is provided in order to detect malformations early.

2. Health risks from 40 are the same and just as high as under 20.

I’ll bluntly say that this is not true either, as it can be read in any source, which is difficult to discuss here due to lack of links. For example, connective tissue weakens from age 30, which statistically leads to premature labor and therefore premature births. Of course, this does not happen to everyone, I don’t want to dramatize. But the risk increases such that even the stingy health insurance pays more directly.

How did you come to that? I think you don’t even know what you’re talking about! It’s selfish... when parents’ "the only real meaning" of life remains unfulfilled and great science can help at this point? You absolutely have no idea what psychological consequences this can have.

As I explained later along with chand, I mainly spoke about people with fear of missing the boat because they noticed that their education and career generate money, but do not shift biological limits. Oh no, wait, that is possible now after all. And yes, I have such a couple in my (somewhat distant, admittedly) circle of acquaintances. Whether 4-5 miscarriages are much better for the psyche, I put that out there. Plus the risk for the child, to satisfy one’s own need after all. I don’t find it good.

We had our first child at 24 while students. I also see it that women over 30 are already giving birth late if it is the first pregnancy.

The average first-time mother in Germany is now over 30 years old (data from 2015)
In 1970, it was still 24 years.

As far as I’m concerned, even a 50-year-old can still have a child, the mother’s body will manage it.

The mother’s body manages it by solving (literally) if something is wrong. Nature has arranged it this way but it is no longer accepted. There may be medical conditions that can be suppressed so that it still succeeds. But to accept multiple miscarriages with all force and all means just because it absolutely has to happen again?