When the dream of the house bursts

2017-12-08 20:01:26

and then I'll do the household 100%. ..Karsten

2017-12-08 20:03:03

Personally, I find women over 40 who inject themselves with hormone cocktails to get pregnant, accepting severe disabilities in the child in order to plan its future afterwards like a project at work, considerably more questionable.

Freeze the young, better eggs! It's all a matter of organization.

But seriously. You describe the problem very clearly: lifestyles are very different, young mothers, late mothers, with and without careers, academics, three-quarters housewives, single parents, etc.
As long as the lifestyle corresponds to one's own life goal, there really should never be anything against any of them.
But women are not harassed by men, rather by other women with different lifestyles—especially in kindergarten.

Career + children? Neglectful mother! Full-time mother? Naive parasite! Doesn’t bring homemade cookies to the Christmas party? Unable to be a wife. (Behind her back to a friend: Doesn’t manage anything even with cleaning help. Scandal.) Everyone from their own perspective against "the others." As a man, you shake your head at so much psychological violence and for the first time appreciate a black eye as the end result of such a debate.

2017-12-08 20:10:15

I think it's stupid to devalue this life plan like that. There is nothing wrong with it, and if both want it that way, they should have it. But it wouldn't be mine either. She should earn her own money and not depend on "pocket money" like a child. I personally find women over 40 who inject hormone cocktails for pregnancy, knowingly accepting severe disabilities of the child in order to plan its future afterwards like a project at work, significantly more questionable. And that is increasing, more and more. At the birth of the first child, a designer piece sat opposite us, heavily pregnant with a phone at her ear. From the conversation, it was clear that in 30 minutes there would be the desired cesarean section and tomorrow morning a telephone conference. It’s on. And the over 40 moms at kindergarten are the last plague. Without a Stokke stroller you're a subhuman, and if little Ben doesn’t get the toy first, dad comes because he’s a lawyer (no joke!) But yes, a perfect match.

Sure. I’m telling you: a perfect match. But if you think it’s stupid to devalue this life philosophy, then you should for your own sake also refrain from mentioning the opposite scornfully. And yes: I do devalue this interplay. Because it’s mostly a game between exploitative dominance and broken inferiority. But the first mentioned person sits rather in the comfort zone than the second person. Because this here was about the comfort zone and not letting oneself be moved to the big city (the big bad wolf might come ...). But now this is getting too much off-topic for me.

2017-12-08 20:22:00

I work at a car insurance company in the front office as a call center agent and my wife, since she doesn’t have a driver’s license, currently works at the bakery 2 minutes away from our apartment. It’s the comfort zone! But for both of us. I don’t really want to let my wife go to Frankfurt, that’s too risky for me, and I know what I’m getting into here every day.

I also have to honestly say that when you look around, I only see confusion. The commercial clerk in retail is now called a sales manager, I don’t want to work there anymore anyway!!! The office tasks, which I have been doing for 12 years now, are presented online in such a way that I often think that without a degree, no one can work there. I am too passive because of how I was influenced by my parents. My father worked for 45 years in the same company and my mother has also been with the same employer for almost 20 years now. But the more I read posts here, the more I realize that this is not the end and I just have to send an application. Thanks again for that

Don’t let job postings intimidate you. They are almost always set higher than needed and pay more than they should. Sell yourself well and be ready to get involved in new areas. And what’s the worst that can happen? In the worst case, you won’t be invited to an interview.

In which part around FFM do you roughly live?

2017-12-08 20:27:01

Yvonne, this is a distorted picture. A friend of mine. Fisherman. Own ship. Wife doesn’t really work, well, formally she is registered with him as a deckhand. Because of taxes or health insurance or I don’t know. He is at sea almost 320 days. Has no EC card, no Visa, was almost never to the bank, and if he has to go there once in a while, he puts on a suit, she manages everything on land, he sails the ship. She orders diesel, she orders provisions, only the shipyard appointments, the service intervals, etc., he takes care of. She raised the children, he was at sea, at times back then even up to Iceland. So who is dominant here, who is in the comfort zone, despite the so-called just housewife?

2017-12-08 20:37:04

I'll send you a private message.

When the dream of the house bursts

kaho674

chand1986

ypg

Eldea

Nordlys

ypg