When the dream of the house bursts

I don't see a real contradiction between children and two careers. The children are well cared for by a good daycare provider and enjoy contact with other children, at least for about 7 hours a day. This allows both parents to work full-time if the employers offer flexible working hours, home office, etc. For workaholics, there is still enough "free" time between 8 pm and midnight to achieve more than the colleagues. I can only speak for us, it works wonderfully for us, you just have to be very organized.

yes exactly, everyone as they like.

at some point both partners become alienated and get divorced when the children leave the nest.

Oops Women earn too little Women do not want to leave their comfort zone Women are supposed to be primarily there for the children What do some gentlemen want? How are families supposed to live if the sole earner drops out? How are widows supposed to live? Old-age poverty? What I do not understand is why the working mothers are always on the helper lists in kindergarten, in school Child and full-time work is possible without [Aupair].

That might be possible, but I am really glad that I don’t have to do it. Full-time job + household + child(ren) = zero or negative... who ends up losing out? At least the women who would also like to have a hobby that isn’t called child...

But once again, that leads away from the topic.

It may well be possible, but I am just relieved that I don't have to. Full-time job + household + child(ren) = zero or negative... who ends up losing out? At least the women, who would also like to have a hobby that is not called ‘child’...

But that is once again off-topic.

I work full-time, have the house and garden to manage, and mainly take care of the child in the evenings. I have to say that with a bit of organization and the involvement of my husband, it actually works quite calmly. Even if 2 hours less per day would be nice. But for that, I am independent from my husband, which is very important to me.

But apparently there are still pot and lid, where the darling is rather kept and is still allowed to earn something until she gives birth to her children.

I think it's stupid to devalue this way of life like that. There is nothing wrong with it and if both want it that way, they should have it. But it wouldn’t be mine either. She should earn her own money and not cling to "pocket money" like a child.
Personally, I find women over 40 who inject themselves with hormone concoctions to get pregnant, thereby accepting severe disabilities of the child, in order to plan its future afterward like a project at work, considerably more questionable.
And that is increasing, more and more.
When our first child was born, a designer piece sat opposite us, heavily pregnant with a phone at her ear. From the conversation it was clear: in 30 minutes there would be the desired C-section and tomorrow morning a teleconference. Everything running smoothly.
And the over-40 moms in kindergarten are the absolute worst. Without a Stokke stroller you're a subhuman and if little Ben doesn’t get the toy first, dad comes because he’s a lawyer (no kidding!)

But yes, pot and lid.

Man Alex, well observed. Our generation still thought differently. I was and still am the primary earner, she is the secondary earner, and used to be above all a mother. She never got an allowance. Always me. There was and is only one checking account, that's where our money is, and she withdraws from the bank and gives me some. I don't need much either. I can get by for days with 30 euros. At most I have to refuel, I have a card for that. Otherwise, I might buy myself an ice cream or a flower for her. When the children grew up, she worked more. It's okay, I'm away during the day anyway. When I soon retire, she will continue a bit more, and then I'll do the household 100%. Yours, mine, we never had that as an issue. Everything was always ours. Her retirement provision will consist of her own pension, Riester pension, 60% of my pension-paid house, if I die before her, which will probably be the case, I'm older and as a man genetically closer to death. Karsten