When the dream of the house bursts

We had our first child at 24 while we were students. I also see it that way, that women over 30 are already late in childbearing if it’s their first pregnancy. It should be "over" by 35, otherwise the man has to find a younger woman.

Well, my husband should have chosen a younger face [emoji6] Rarely have I read such stupid talk.

How did you come up with that? I think you have no idea what you're talking about! It is selfish... when parents' "the only real meaning" of life remains unfulfilled and great science can help at this point? You have absolutely no idea what kind of psychological consequences that can have.

Phew, some people really approach life in an insanely tense way. This must be done and that must be done. Just as some people here absolutely want to build instead of loving life as it can be shaped, couples absolutely have to fight against nature. In my opinion, that has psychological consequences if you want what is not given to you.

I watched a film about penguins last week: all eggs hatch at the same time. If a chick dies, the parents do not shy away from kidnapping.

Let's be honest, no matter how you do it, you do it wrong. Especially when it comes to children, everyone thinks they can interfere with others and that their own opinion or way of parenting is the only right one. Either you're a helicopter mom, a neglectful mother, a lax mother, a too soft mother without rules, you let the child get away with too much, you're too strict, you work too long, you're lazy and don't work at all... I could list for hours and I haven't even gotten to the topic of Reboarders or complementary feeding yet.

That's how it looks. Only: Most of these accusations (though not exclusively) come from women directed at other women.

Why? In terms of emancipation, that's stupid. Do they like stepping on their own toes? Or is this the substitute act for the metaphorical penis contest of men – my parenting, your parenting? This is even being made into a TV series now, with some F-celebrities.

I will never have children, so maybe it's easy for me to talk. But parenting is 80% leading by example. What, please, will become of children with parents who drive an SUV all the way into the classroom, consider every little thing their offspring does worthy of a Nobel Prize, and of course suppress their children's self-organization because they think they know better from life experience, but on the other hand remove every obstacle with a lawyer? With a bit of luck, the children rebel and break free. But who is lucky?

(If you're wondering about my rants: I volunteer as a sports club manager and was involved in training for a long time. Over the years, certain personalities have become more apparent and incidents have occurred that people with brains would have assumed to exist only in a fable. And I'm still too young to be calm about it. I'll soon have a slipped disc from shaking my head. But these people consider themselves totally normal. When I say something: "Do you have kids? No? Then shut up!" That's the "Nazi card" of helicopter moms. And they are increasing.)

hihi... well, often it really is the case that you can't join the conversation if you don't have children. Because some (! not all) of the ideas you had then get quickly put into perspective by the reality of having kids

by the way, having children during your studies is an option, but only if you already have a partner with whom you actually want kids, right... you have to find that person first anyway.

Apart from that, EVERY child was born for selfish reasons (except maybe with extremely religious people). As far as I'm concerned, even every 50-year-old can still have a child, the mother's body will manage that. But then produce a few siblings as well, so the poor only child doesn't have to take care of the nursing home/the care for the parents at 20, when they should actually be out in the world.

That's how it is. Only: as an accusation, it mostly (not exclusively) comes from women directed at other women.

Why? In terms of emancipation, that's stupid. Do people like stepping on their own feet? Or is this a substitute for the metaphorical dick-measuring contest of men – my parenting, your parenting? This is even being made into a TV series now, with some F-celebrities.

I will never have children, so maybe I have it easy talking. But parenting is 80% leading by example. What, please, will become of children with parents who drive SUVs up to the classroom, consider every little fart of their offspring worthy of a Nobel Prize, and of course suppress their children’s self-organization because they think they know better from life experience, but at the same time clear every obstacle out of their way through lawyers?
With a bit of luck, the children rebel and break out. But who is lucky?

(If you wonder about my rants: I volunteer run a sports club and was in training for a longer time. Over the years, more and more characters emerge and incidents happen that a sane person would have expected only in a fairy tale realm. And I am still too young to be calm about it. I’ll soon have a slipped disc from shaking my head. But these people think they are totally normal. If I say something: "Do you have kids? No? Then shut up!" That’s the “Nazi club” of helicopter moms. And there are more and more of them.)

This has nothing to do with older parents / helicopter parents, but is a generation conflict. Which has always existed anyway. I can’t remember any decade where people didn’t complain about bad parenting. And childless people are usually the worst. It’s not bad to be childless, but you simply act with a certain distance because of it.

I mean, I can never have built a house either, but still have an opinion on how it should be done. But when you build a house, you see that you do many things quite differently. For whatever reason [emoji6]

And if you refuse to take children aged 10-12 to tournaments anymore because they have alcohol with them that they got from their parents, you are called lazy and incapable of fulfilling your supervisory duties by exactly these parents.

Now I am calling my husband to tell him he has to find a younger woman. I am researching reproductive therapies, ordering those strange monitoring mats and helicopter-parenting my daughter.
Do I have to give my tomcats to the animal shelter after all? They are dangerous for small children.

Eldea, you skipped breastfeeding and vaccination. Oh yes, always this black-and-white thinking.
For some, children are already a bit like my car, my yacht, my villa.