Good offer for a young family? Buy yes or no

That means I haven't decided yet, but the euphoria when doing the calculations and creating the household budget and this "we can do it" is now a bit quieter.

wanting to go on vacation again after 2 years also throws a wrench in the plans.

But honestly, I don't really feel ready to be thrown into it headfirst. Without ever having tested whether I can and want to limit myself like that.

And in 10 years the heating needs to be redone... How on God's earth am I supposed to save up €30,000?

So you know what I mean? That scares me a lot

And what if there is more behind the damp wall and my cousin can’t fix it for €5000? What if the heating breaks down and it costs €5000?

Then two cars, mine is also slowly but surely not really top anymore at 13 years old. I’ll make it through the next MOT once, but after that?

... and then the car too... oops :(

Exactly these reasons are the legitimate reasons of the skeptics here in the group.

You're doing it right: if your gut feeling tells you the pressure is wrong, then stay away from it.

I think it’s great that you are honest with yourself and also with us, even though for some it surely has “something like a striptease.”
The fewest people who actually shouldn’t get a bargain but should seize the opportunity, even though everything is calculated too optimistically, admit here in the forum that they don’t get a loan for these reasons or that the build/purchase doesn’t work out.
They don’t give feedback, nor do they report their personal defeat. And that’s fine. But a discussion becomes well-rounded and understandable through this—and also helps others who can't handle their skepticism or fear.
Otherwise it appears as if everyone can afford a house, except the reader who hears no from the financial advisor.

So: Respect for your honesty and your fears :)

I also believe that if the house were in the middle of nowhere in Schleswig-Holstein, i.e., had a normal market value, the persuaders would have concerns about the numbers.

Streaming, fitness, PC games, etc. only make up a small part of your finances.

But the small sums add up. I used to play too, but with €5 games, two years old. If that is actually THE hobby of a 30-year-old, then you want to keep at it until the urge to play fades by itself. It’s like Jana’s financed camera.
The cost drivers mentioned are exactly what automatically build up over the years when you (earn more and more), want to participate in consumption, one takes part in fitness and club activities like others do. You take everything along. Age also plays a role here. Finally, you can treat yourself to something.
I think that once the kids are bigger, the PC will play an increasingly smaller role. The fitness center will be replaced by family training and running, mobile phone contracts won't be as important when the phone always has a broken screen because of the kids or you just don't have the time. However, then Tupperware, Schleich animals, and Thermomix will play a role.
Some/many people prefer to live in an apartment and treat themselves more to other things rather than prioritizing buying/building a house, but then less "stuff" in return.

Honestly:
I don’t want to be in your "dilemma" now.

I don’t see a dilemma.

definitely

Never say definitely!
No one knows what the future holds.

I would still keep the total costs in mind. 10 years of rent, general price increases and declining supply (especially such good offers as the current one) should not be overlooked. You definitely should not bet on falling prices.

It's like Jana's financed camera.

is probably the running gag now...

Somehow I still find it interesting that on the one hand people are very afraid, but on the other hand they want to indulge in the luxury that the woman works so little in the future. If the woman worked more, the situation would be much more relaxed. This way, one would indulge in a double luxury (house + minimal part-time), but in return would have to make sacrifices. This doesn't really add up for me.

Somehow I still find it interesting that on the one hand there is such great fear, but on the other hand one wants to indulge in the luxury that the woman will work as little as possible in the future. If the woman worked more, the situation would be much more relaxed. That way, one would indulge in a double luxury (house + low part-time once), but would have to do without something in return. That doesn't really fit together for me.

Well. That is a very individual decision. Everyone has to decide for themselves whether they want to work "only" more for the house.

And with 700 euros warm rent + part-time, the security is just greater at the moment. I can understand that. If things get tight, the woman works more.

If you have already exhausted all trump cards with the house, it gets a bit more uncertain.

I somehow still find it interesting that on one hand there is such great fear, but on the other hand one wants to indulge in the luxury that the woman in the future works so little. If the woman worked more, the situation would be significantly more relaxed. That way, one would indulge in a double luxury (house + once low part-time), but would have to renounce something in return. That doesn’t quite add up for me.

That’s true, the contradiction is there. But for example, I see free time nowadays as the greatest luxury. People work, work, work to meet societal pressure for consumption and ownership. But no one gives you back the time spent with children and family. And for what? In this case, for an ultra-tight financing, where neither the car nor the washing machine must break down. I find the OP’s thought process absolutely admirable, realistic, extremely mature, and reflective.