Stop or pause house construction? Costs too high

You can take the architect's floor plan and go to various general contractors to get a fixed price offer.

We don't even know how valuable his floor plan is. He simply put our wishes regarding the rooms, size, and location in the house on paper, created a 3D model, and covered some of the facade. Currently more on a fantasy level. No structural engineer has seen it yet. There is also no building permit. It may be that a general contractor says Pretty, but you can't build it like that yet. Then the planning or replanning starts all over again.

I see it completely differently.

Well then, show me your amortization calculation.

We don't even know how valuable his floor plan is. He simply put our wishes about the rooms, size, location in the house on paper, created 3D, and covered some of the facade. Currently more on a fantasy level. No structural engineer has seen it yet. There is also no building permit. It could be that a general contractor says Nice, but you can't build it like that yet. Then the planning or replanning starts all over again.

Well, but you yourself say that you haven't been at it for long. It's not like you have to throw away months of planning. Then a general contractor just plans differently and you write off the architect as a learning cost. I understand that you are frustrated. But giving up so quickly? Building itself will be stressful anyway. Unfortunately, you need a thick skin for that.

But I would like an honest expectation regarding the costs. "More than double" is not precise. At 4500-5000€/sqm, that would be significantly below 2500€ as an expectation. That is currently more wishful thinking.

The mentioned 4500-5000€/sqm are of course without additional costs.
The honest expectation was that we would get the house (without land) in the worst case for 850-900 thousand. All inclusive.
That was in the worst case.
Now we are at 1 million pure construction costs. Without photovoltaics, without additional costs, without architect fees, without driveway, without kitchen, without everything like sewer connections and what belongs to it. Just warm and dry.

I'll take a risk. Gifhorn is quite affordable, so I don't understand the estimate, or are the requirements quite high? Standard is very flexible. I wouldn't not build at all, I would cut back. Remove the double garage Simplify the floor plan Save on equipment

Most of the time, everyone here complains that the architects estimate too low a construction sum. Now it is the other way around.

About the estimated price:
I would now verify the estimated price based on conversations. Once with regional craftsmen, once with a general contractor. From the conversations, you get a feeling for the architect’s assessment and information about what might be the cost drivers. Afterwards, you can decide how to proceed - e.g. obtaining concrete offers.

About paying the architect:
Of course, the architect must be paid for his work - however, he cannot simply work outside the scope of the contract. Therefore, it is important what role, for example, a budget limit played in the contract. A "missed issue" cannot cost the full price.

About the wish for house size and equipment:
It is completely legitimate to have ideas and want to realize them. The house is large and is based on a cost-intensive energy standard. If the house deviates too much from the idea due to the budget, "letting go" might be a good option.
At the beginning of the planning, we oriented ourselves towards a desired optimum - knowing we would suffer a price shock. That did happen. Since we were able to identify the cost drivers, we found alternatives for these that came closest to our optimal idea and that we could be sure would not bother us daily. We found this out by comparing our wishes with the actual contribution to quality of life. Not everything you want is also needed for your life satisfaction.

About discussions in the family:
Depending on the family structure, it sometimes makes sense to lovingly put one or the other person with a tendency toward overbearing behavior in their place. I hope for you that the constellation is not such that "everyone" has something to say about your building project.