House construction too expensive - Stop building?

I have a different opinion. Because self-management provides control. The fear here is the feeling of falling into financial trouble or already being in it and not being able to do anything about it. Being aware that you do have control and can still manage everything is, in my opinion, only helpful. But yes, as soon as it becomes irrational, just talking it through usually doesn't help. Professional help should really be sought in that case.

I find the fear regarding the numbers completely irrational. We are currently paying an installment of €2500 with a similar income and have also been on vacation twice. Admittedly no long-haul trips and no all-inclusive either, but our life doesn’t feel like a worse sacrifice :-)

I believe the fears cannot be logically justified. Many builders go through such phases more or less from time to time. Trust your husband and let him take the lead until you feel better again.

How far along is the construction already? Are you controlling the budget, where do you stand with that?

After the first sentences in the topic, I already thought, oh dear, what kind of horror story is coming now. But then when numbers were mentioned ... I can't understand the fuss. Even if another 50k had to be added, you can afford it.

Sounds to me more like you weren't made for this extremely elaborate building mode. Just let yourself be guided if your partner is so confident and holding the reins ... a little trust.

The apartment cannot be sold because it is a granny flat in the parents' house. Only the rent can serve as a buffer

Warning, now comes just a suspicion because I experience this very often in my circle of acquaintances: Could it be that you are taking on debt for the first time? And so far either haven’t paid any rent or the parents were the landlords? That is quite a big step to get into debt of over 400k with a "ruthless bank" that wants to see the installment every month without any personal considerations. As I said, just if that is the case: don’t worry about it. You will be able to pay the money every month. And you will be able to live well with the remaining money. If you want to make bigger purchases regularly or the vacations become expensive, there are bonus payments. In addition, you have potential savings in the monthly expenses.

It would indeed be interesting to have a construction status update and preferably the remaining budget.
For us, the screed was just poured and the interior construction is beginning. For our 170sqm + 80sqm garage, I hope to end up around 400k (excluding land and additional costs). I am also starting to set priorities. (Interior doors later, 2.5m & 5.5m garage doors later). The motto is to approach the matter realistically and estimate what can be postponed if you notice it might get too tight. PS: also, doing single trades plus getting your hands dirty saves a lot compared to a general contractor, I can definitely confirm that.