House buying - No idea what one can afford

Household bookkeeping is still not something I do, I’m probably too lazy for that (or it’s too much effort?). Instead, at the beginning of each month, I make an expense plan, because in property ownership the ancillary costs are not monthly but usually quarterly. The expenses therefore fluctuate greatly, and I still transfer everything manually via online banking, not by direct debit, because the amounts vary too much. For example, the wonderful constant "adjustments" of the property tax, but that’s just by the way. Additionally, I have an annual "payment schedule" where at the beginning of the year it is recorded when garbage collection is due and when which insurance, property tax, and water payments are due. I look into this at the beginning of each month and transfer the items to the monthly expense plan, then I know exactly how much money is left that month for purchases. All other fixed costs are also included there, as well as savings contributions. This can perhaps be roughly called a household book, but a light version for lazy people...
I had the problem with cash a long time ago. Now it’s like this: my husband and I have a joint account and all payments are made by card. Neither of us ever carries more than about five euros in cash at any time. Most of the time not even one. Occasionally, we get an extra ten euros at the supermarket checkout (“cash withdrawal”), which then disappears at the bakery, and my husband uses the loose change to get one or two cups of coffee from the vending machine at work. That way you have the perfect overview, because every item is listed in online banking, and you know where the money went. Of course, not everyone (or anyone at all?) can/wants to do it that way, but it works well for us.

We don't just throw money around either, we have many things that are more expensive but only bought once like KitchenAid instead of 0815, Dibbern dishes, furniture from Vitra, Rimowa suitcases, etc... All of that costs a lot, but in return we have many many things where we won't have to spend money later.

That's exactly it. "Throwing money around." Whether it's for 0815 products or brand products doesn't matter. "Throwing money around" isn't even bad... many people do that, and I don't exclude myself. If I were to write here how much money I've thrown away on useless hobbies in the last 10 years, I'd probably have to go to the troll corner.

Your problem is simply the combination of "throwing money around" and "whining" because you can't move into your own house next week.

And that you won't spend money later on such great things as furniture or dishes... do you actually believe that yourself? You probably don't feel like having 20-year-old dishes or 30-year-old furniture. A few years ago we completely stocked up on Villeroy & Boch and I'm already tired of it.

I used to have a problem with cash a long time ago. Now it is such that my husband and I have a joint account and all payments are made by card. Neither of us ever carries more than about five euros in cash at any time. Most of the time not even one.

Only cash is real! If possible, I pay in cash. In general, it is also said that paying in cash usually provides a better overview of expenses (the counterpart is apparently "shopping" with a credit card, perhaps more of a US-American issue). For you, it is apparently the other way around.

I also use Excel just to see where the money is leaking. However, on the 1st of the month, the current account is almost brought down to zero. The funds are transferred to various daily allowance accounts. If you see it that way, it's a private cash management like large corporations operate with their cash pools.

The tone is gradually calming down here, maybe you noticed a bit that everyone finances and spends their money the way they like. In the end, nobody will take the decision to build, buy, or renovate away from you. We also do not grant loans. It may be that despite ongoing small loans, you receive a financing commitment.

I would personally be interested in what the banker tells you when you get construction advice.

Regarding the topic of a suitable property, there are also construction professionals here. I think they are not as aggressive as the financiers.

Well, now you have received so many good tips on how to approach it, the only thing missing is your implementation. It should be clear by now that such a house means sacrifice. Your income is good, so much would be possible if you wanted it. For us, more than 60% of the income goes into the loan, and before the construction, it was handled the same way, just into a savings account. Compared to the average, that is probably relatively high, but that is simply because we don’t want to pay off forever (if everything goes according to plan, we will be done by 40, and that suits us) and lead what you would consider a modest life. We approached the matter differently and thought about what we wanted; unfortunately, it was not the cheapest option in terms of location and features, so it was expensive by our standards. Then we did some calculations, and it became clear quite quickly that over 60% would be needed each month. The money went from the checking account every month for years before construction started, and with the rest, we just have to manage, and look, it works. Well, we put a lot of work into it ourselves and didn’t have much of a real life for a longer time, but that was our decision. In retrospect, I can say that we did not do badly; we eat out often, but only traditional home-style food, go on vacation several times, but only to a guesthouse or holiday home and without flying, drive luxury cars, but used ones, for a longer time and more than 300,000 km. Maybe first set some goals and then pursue them with a bit of perseverance. Objectively, I’ll boldly claim that you are still doing quite well if you spend 50% of your income and put 50% into your own home, but everyone has to decide that for themselves. Sometimes you just have to realize again that there are many people who have less income available, have to finance an apartment/house, and are still happy. Consumption like cars and vacations is transient and quickly over, your own home is usually with you for life and delights its residents every night, every morning at breakfast, and in the evening after work and on weekends even more. So, enough life advice, do what you think is right, stand by your decision, and be happy with it!

Respect 60 %