House buying - No idea what one can afford

My rather wealthy father managed at that time to kick his severely disabled wife out of the shared house with zero separation or divorce maintenance, who then became a social welfare recipient, and he only sporadically paid maintenance to his children and only to the bailiff. He lived very well after the divorce and made himself appear poor (including shipping money to Switzerland). So I would strictly reject the idea that the father is always the loser after the divorce. In my example, it was the ex-wife and ex-children.

@ elina
Exception!

Currently experienced with the cousin, if the parents didn’t give money for taxes, he would be insolvent.

The wife was at a spa treatment, then went directly to her parents afterward. Two weeks later she is home, has changed all the locks.
When he came home from work, the police were called... because he apparently hit the children "which is definitely not true."
Sure, he messed up a lot and was probably not faithful. But this is not how you end a 12-year marriage.

Then it started.

Tax office 12k back payment for 2 years

Lawyer 10k

Accrued child support payments

Ongoing costs for the house, until it was sold. Several interested buyers were scared off by the wife.

House gone about 60k profit: divided by 2

New apartment
Deposit, a few used furniture items.

And as a baker, he is left with basic security.

Still has to provide something to the children every 2 weeks when they visit.

What can you do with 1100 euros?

Nothing, that is no longer a life.

@ elina Exception! Currently experienced with my cousin, if the parents didn't give money for taxes, he would be insolvent. The wife was at a spa treatment, then directly afterwards went to the parents. Two weeks later she is home, has changed all the locks. When he came home from work, the police were called... because he apparently hit the children "which is definitely not true." Sure, he did a lot of stupid things and was probably unfaithful. But this is not how you end 12 years of marriage. Then it started. Tax office 12k back payment for 2 years Lawyer 10k Accumulated alimony payments Ongoing costs for the house until it was sold. Several interested parties scared off by the woman. House gone approx. 60k profit: divided by two New apartment Deposit a few used pieces of furniture And as a baker he is left with basic social security. He still has to offer the children something every 2 weeks when they visit. What can you still do with 1100 euros? Nothing, that is no life anymore.

But it always takes two... people often forget that too.

There are certainly extremes in both directions. But fathers who don’t care a bit, who would have preferably erased their children from their lives, and who don’t even manage to send a birthday card, are actually quite common. Ending a marriage because the partner no longer fits can maybe still be understood somehow. But denying your own children—that doesn’t compute in my brain. But this is really a bit off-topic again.

In my perception, there are more mothers who exclude fathers from their children’s lives!

Look up parental alienation syndrome PAS!

In Germany, for example, the alternating custody model has not yet become established because the mothers' lobby is against it.

My perception is the exact opposite. However, I also have a different standpoint as a child of divorce. You exchange experiences with other children of divorce, and the case that the father simply showed zero interest anymore was far more common than fathers who want to but are not allowed to. But basically, it does not matter what actually happens more often; it does not help you to know that other fathers want to continue seeing their children if your own father did not want to. In any case, I can say that it is poison for the child's soul when it gets the impression that the father does not want it. So don't give up and keep at it! Eventually, the children are old enough not to be kept away anymore. Children need their fathers!