House buying - No idea what one can afford

I remember a case on Peter Zwegat! Net income over 4500 euros! House, 2 leased cars, insurances, small loans, mobile phone and the end of the story, private insolvency, because the banks wanted their money and got it. I asked myself back then how this was possible and now I can imagine it. Excessiveness and no restraint, always wanting to have the newest, after all, you earn enough.

and once again a clarification. I did NOT say that I HAVE to have a house for amount X. Apparently it comes across that way when someone questions how that is supposed to work if both don’t always work full time.

That’s exactly what it’s about with me. If now it turns out that for this or that reason I can only buy something for 250k, then I am also one step further... But then we go in circles again, because I don’t quite understand how I can buy something for 200, 300k for x people who also have the challenge of children and part-time work but with less income and it basically comes out here that even we with the income obviously shouldn’t and can’t finance 400k in the long run.

But there doesn’t seem to be a clear opinion on that, on the contrary.

But again: I am NOT saying that it has to be 400k!

Excessiveness and no restraint, always having the newest thing because you earn enough.

However, I would not phrase it that way. This word is very negative and in my opinion does not accurately describe the previous lifestyle of the OP.
There is nothing wrong with someone deciding to "live."

When building a house, priorities must then be reset. If this can be managed, it should not be a problem.
It is only difficult to step down from a (accustomed) standard of living.

That's exactly what this is about. If it turns out that for this and that reason I can only buy something for 250k after all, then I've taken a step forward... But then we're going in circles again, because I don't quite understand how I can buy something for 200, 300k for x people, who also have the challenge of children and part-time work but with less income, and it basically comes out that even with the income we obviously shouldn't and can't finance 400k in the long term.

Ok, understood. Then I'll ask differently: How much would you currently have "left over" to put into the house? How much would you have "left over," for example, once you have a second child and your wife then permanently stays at home or, for example, works part-time?

Just do a sample calculation with income, expenses, rent, living costs, possibly monthly amount for reserves, vacations, etc...

and one more clarification. I did NOT say that I MUST have a house for amount X. Apparently, it comes across that way when someone questions how that is supposed to work if both don’t always work full-time.

That’s exactly what this is about. If it turns out that, for this or that reason, I can only buy something for 250k after all, then I am one step further... But then we go in circles again, where I don’t quite understand how some people can buy something for 200, 300k with x people, who also have the challenge of children and part-time jobs but with less income, and here it basically turns out that even we with our income obviously shouldn’t and can’t finance 400k in the long run.

But there doesn’t seem to be a clear opinion on that, on the contrary.

But again: I am NOT saying that it must be 400k!

hmm what do your friends and family say who know your silence and have to grill in your 200k hut... doesn’t really match the income

just kidding!

That's exactly what it's about. If it turns out that, for these and those reasons, I can only afford to buy something for 250k after all, then I'm also one step further... But then we're going in circles again, because I don't quite understand how I can buy something for 200, 300k for x number of people who also have the challenge of children and part-time work but with less income, and here it basically turns out that even with the income we have, we obviously shouldn't and can't finance 400k in the long run.

It's not the income.
It's the doubt that you can significantly change your lifestyle. Currently, the described life motto is: "I afford this now because I want to." With a significantly higher fixed monthly burden, this will no longer be possible.
If you want to live with such a restriction, you have to consciously decide to do so, otherwise it will fail.

The families you mentioned have learned this (maybe not all of them – you might see them again at the forced auction).
So far, due to lack of necessity, you have not yet provided this proof (otherwise you would have saved something and not spent everything).
Hence the constant reference to the household budget book. This shows you best whether you can manage it over a longer period (9-12 months) and where the money goes. However, statements from you like "keeping a household budget book is too exhausting for me" (something like this was said somewhere once) cast doubt on the seriousness.

Others build and invest a huge amount of their own work and thus save parts of the investment. I admire several of my neighbors for their courage and skill in doing so.