Our financial situation - Your opinion?

I am basically also sure that I want the financing like this for myself and that I can manage it. We have been keeping a detailed household budget for years and therefore I know that these numbers are reliable and also include 'special effects': new lens, new bicycle, new slippers for the car. So all that, which only happens once in X years. But these kinds of incidents sometimes do come up monthly anyway ;-)

With this valid basis and the realistic cost calculation, it shows that we can make it. I am clear about this and I WANT that too. We are not going into debt, we are shifting capital. That is difficult to internalize, but the only right mindset.

My husband still worries a lot and needs to be reassured by me from time to time. If the house or the installment becomes a (unfounded) stress factor, then I do not want it like that. We will soon have a child, and I do not want additional stress. Whenever I tell him concretely that we would have to drop it if he does not feel good about it, he backs down and says that I am right after all. But I have no desire, time, energy, or motivation to have such a discussion on a weekly basis. That is why this thread exists, to be told anonymously and directly: Dude, don’t mess around, just do it!

Maybe some of you will recognize yourselves in this :-)

Nevertheless, the 1% for private use remains and home office would have to be 100% of working time.

That is not entirely correct. 100% working time is not necessarily required. I have been living this model quite well for 12 years in coordination with the tax office. It depends on how "home office" and workplace are defined.

Apart from that, with 1% private use you will always be better off than if you buy the car (I assume a full-service leasing including fuel costs). But that fits better into its own thread, if desired.

Basically, I am also sure that I want the financing like this for myself and that I can manage it. We have kept a detailed household account for years, so I know these figures are reliable and also include 'special effects': new lens, new bike, new slippers for the car. All those things that only happen once in X years. But these kinds of incidents do sometimes happen monthly ;-)

With this valid basis and the realistic cost calculation, it shows that we can manage it. I am clear about that and I WANT that too. We are not going into debt; we are shifting capital. That is hard to internalize, but the only right attitude.

However, my husband still worries so much and always has to be calmed down by me every now and then. If the house or the installment becomes a (unfounded) stress factor, then I don’t want it that way. We’ll have a child soon, and I don’t want any additional stress.
Whenever I tell him concretely that we would have to stop if he doesn’t feel good about it, he backtracks and says that I am right after all. But I have no desire, time, strength, or motivation to have such a discussion weekly. That’s why this thread—to be told anonymously and directly: Dude, don’t mess around, just do it!

Maybe one or the other will recognize themselves in this :)

Honestly: At the beginning, I felt the same way as your husband. My wife and I basically started financially from scratch and only got the kitchen from our parents. Our salaries rose quite quickly and we earn in a comparable range to what you do. We used to live well, traveled a lot, ate out, etc. But we also saved a lot. We now have no problem affording the installment of €2,400. Still, I often asked myself whether it wasn’t insane to have such high debt. But that is probably because the prices at which our parents built were in a completely different range. I believe, as long as you have an overview of your finances (and you definitely do), you don’t need to worry. Our child came two years after moving into the house. Sure, there are additional significant costs with reduced income, but there was enough buffer to extend parental leave by half a year and nothing else is missing.
The cost structure also changes. Restaurants have become rather rare (also due to Corona), instead of long-distance trips, it’s now the North Sea (in the third year after the birth), etc.

Don’t worry. You will certainly still have one or the other unexpected expense or price increase, but you can definitely handle those better than 90% of the normal population.

I also often asked myself whether the high price we paid really corresponds to an intrinsic value, but when I look at how much the land value alone has increased in the last three years on our street, how construction costs have risen again, and how comfortable you simply feel when you come home, it was worth every penny.

If your husband struggles again: You are spending a lot of money on an asset that remains. That certainly hasn’t always been the case, especially not if you “live well.” How many expensive clothes hang in the basement closet after a few years, how many trips are nice memories today but no longer have any material value. How many restaurant visits today rather press on the hips :-)

Take only as much credit as you can get. Nowadays there are such crazy increases in value… even somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, you can sell a relatively new house for higher prices than it was built for. I wouldn’t worry about that…

Thank you for these encouraging and honest words :-) What did it take for you to have that 'click'? Or did the feeling of having done the right thing come over time through the development of prices, etc.? My husband believes that as soon as we have built, everything will fall apart anyway and our house will lose value. That apocalyptic talk is really annoying... And I don't want to pull him out of this negative swamp of thoughts every time. So far it works, but maybe someday I'll get stuck in it too. For me, the house is an additional gain in quality of life and it's worth it to me. I find it so sad (also for him personally) that he can't manage to see it that way too. But he doesn't want to downsize (features, size, etc.) and neither do I :-))

Actually, everything has already been said, but I still can't help myself: I would gladly take your "problems". :)