Monthly living expenses with a child

For what reason am I allowed to refuse my child the 500 euro phone if my wife and I buy one for ourselves?

Because this way the child might not learn that you don’t just get things for free, but that you have to do something (work) for them.

Come on, don’t say things like that now. His child can probably dance and clap their name too...

In my eyes, there is nothing better, because spending money you earned yourself is way cooler than the money that was given to you

I agree with that. I have realized – also with myself – that when I wanted to treat myself or my children to a "luxury," it is definitely helpful to earn at least part of it yourself. The appreciation for something acquired, which you at least partially financed yourself, is in my opinion many times higher than if you had everything handed to you... you know what I mean. In this respect, in my eyes it is not wrong to encourage your children to sometimes cover their own wishes.

Hello,

We rarely spend 500 euros on groceries, usually more like around 400 euros, and that works perfectly. Although we all also eat out during the week. The kids at the daycare, my husband in the cafeteria, and I bring something from dinner with me. We still all eat warm meals in the evening,

That is probably the explanation why the budget for your groceries can be kept comparatively low. If daycare and cafeteria lunches were omitted, the amount would look different for you; unless you send everyone with the well-known tiffin box to daycare and university.

I cook every other day and we buy almost exclusively organic.

In the past (80s to early 90s), when our two babies were still little, I did that too; and yes, it is true – healthy shopping and cooking yourself was and is overall cheaper than fast food & co. Still, every week DM 100.00 went to the butcher and almost the same amount again at the market, as in the grocery store. That was until I got to know a farmer, from whom I subsequently bought half a pig and a quarter of a cow twice a year. If I’m not mistaken, for DM 9.00 per kilo of pork and DM 11.00 per kilo of beef; of course including everything, also the offal & co.

But only a few families enjoy this “luxury,” and let’s not fool ourselves, it also takes time to shop healthily and cook daily. In families where one parent cannot take care of the children full-time until school age, more money inevitably has to be spent on groceries. This then continues in all other purchases. Anyone who wants to live consciously would never even think of shopping at Verona’s kik. Second-hand clothes are always possible up to a certain age; the items hardly have a chance to get worn out. But after that, it becomes suddenly and permanently more expensive; babies just grow too fast. Just thinking about what we paid for shoes...

Therefore, I think a fixed value "x" for groceries, applicable to every family, cannot be set. The individual situations/needs in families are just too different.

Rhenish greetings

So mine knows that you have to work for it and that, for example, a 500 euro phone is very valuable? I don’t have to teach him that by keeping him short, I TALK to him and he is intelligent enough to understand that. Those who keep their child short like that awaken desires. Mine doesn’t have that because he knows he is treated equally and not kept short because someone begrudges him. Regards

That has nothing to do with "not granting" something. Talking "helps" some, for others it doesn’t. Children are as different as their own demands. But generally it is like this: Being told something and experiencing it yourself are two differently intense experiences. Usually, one learns more and more permanently from the latter. I know this as a professional trainer and knowledge transmitter from daily practice. And then it is still equal treatment: I worked hard for the 500€ phone, within certain limits the offspring should do that too, so they learn what it is like. And so they also experience the good feeling associated with it. Of course, always within the scope of possibilities and available time. If, for example, school suffers because of it, that is a different matter...