I do have some sympathy for individual wishes, and if there is a willingness to pay for them, nothing stands in the way of happily realizing something "ineffective." If you say that your planning is approvable, I will just take that as given for now.
I gather from your posts that you would like to have a nice view from every inhabited room. Placing the living area upstairs can possibly ensure that. You say the wish is fulfilled, so I’ll just tick that off for now.
You would like to have American-style built-in wardrobes – I think that’s great too. In the implementation, the architect confuses that with a dressing room. Americans no more think of changing clothes in a walk-in closet than Germans think of cooking in the pantry. This requires a bit more communication about what you roughly mean by "built-in wardrobe modeled after the American style." Neither of the two designs I’ve seen succeeds in this respect. The architect’s does not because she plans dressing rooms for children, and yours does not because it doesn’t integrate the dressing rooms space-savingly into the architecture but simply takes some space from a previously usable room.
The living area is extremely generous, and there is something special about positioning a lounge area in a room rather than against a wall. To me, this is an absolutely understandable luxury. The drawn-in arrangement is still somewhat small for the room unless you want to accommodate a harpsichord or something like that. If the construction costs are so budget-draining that you have to get the furniture later from a discount store, I would leave it be. If already, then properly.
The way you place the dining table suggests that this place doesn’t have central significance for your family life. The tightness around the table stands in a strange relation to the possible spaciousness of the kitchen and living area and is located at the traffic triangle formed by the stairs, hallway, and living area. I don’t like that stylistically, even if it works.
And then there is a column standing around somewhere. That looks completely randomized, although it is surely statically advantageous and saves costs. But if I’m already avoiding structural costs, I would wish for a solution that has a living function and not just some random column on the way from the dining room to the kitchen.
Overall, the arrangement of the mini bathroom and pantry in this design is not well done. Although the toilet has a good position, the pantry is quite far away from the kitchen. Both rooms do not fit proportionally at all with the length and positioning of the stairs. It looks like it was drawn in carelessly. Imagining the space, I find a lack of geometric aesthetics – and I would insist on that claim immediately if I wasn’t building to optimize square meters and construction costs.
The lower area with a windowless study and fitness room does not appeal to me much – but I don’t know what kind of work is done there. The rather long corridor area just has to be there. It could be conceivable to make the passage through an enlarged garage with thermally well-insulated doors. It could also be conceivable not to build the lower floor as a full story and thus save digging into the slope. You say the fitness room is actually not necessary, and there is also an office on the upper floor, although it is more furnished as a guest room.
It’s not that I have anything to criticize in your requirements, nor is it about any compromises – what I miss in the design is recognizable support for an individual family life, attention to detail, and verve. Spending more than necessary doesn’t have to be wasteful. Form follows function – describe exactly to the architect how you want to live with your family, what makes your everyday life beautiful? What forms of sociability and retreat bring you joy / keep you healthy? What are your aesthetic preferences? How do you want your children to grow up, and what opportunities should they have at what age? Describe the non-functional requirements, derive the functional requirements from them, add your style, and work it out step by step with the architect. Then give her free rein for a design and relinquish control. I bet if the architect is good, hardly any changes will be necessary. You are the professional for your life; the architect is the professional for building the house. Work together and don’t interfere in each other’s competencies. Make something beautiful out of it, something that impresses because it is visibly good. Honestly: I would go back to square one with a conversation – without blame and together. What is there now is not wasted; it serves for learning and understanding. Sounds harsh, but it won’t get really good anymore. And that would be too little for me.