Feasibility Single-family house - Cost statement / Financing realistic?

Ultimately, you just went from one thing to another... Typical forum stuff - it was just a little digression

Right. I’m now gladly taking the excuse to throw wedding photos around. :P

We had chosen individual billing instead of a flat rate. Afterwards, you can see on a 50-centimeter receipt that the guests really indulged themselves. That's perfectly fine. It should basically be taken for granted that as a guest, you don’t just give 20 euros. It simply has to do with decency. Of course, one might in turn feel upset if they are financially generous, maybe even dressed up specially, traveled a long way with a hotel stay – and then experience such indifferent hospitality. It is true that it is the wedding day of the bride and groom. But as a guest, I am expected to contribute to a good atmosphere. Unfortunately, I can only do that to a very limited extent if I am served some sort of junk food and blasted with ACDC. You can do that, but I will stay at most until half past twelve.

We chose individual billing instead of a flat rate. You can then see afterwards on a 50-centimeter receipt that the guests really indulged themselves. And that’s perfectly fine. It should basically be a given that as a guest you don’t just give 20 euros. It simply has to do with decency. Of course, conversely, one can be annoyed if one shows monetary generosity, maybe even bought new clothes especially for the occasion, endured a possibly long journey with an overnight hotel stay – and then experiences such loveless hospitality. That it’s the wedding day of the bride and groom is true. But as a guest, I’m expected to contribute to a good atmosphere. Unfortunately, that only works to a very limited extent for me if I’m served some crappy food and blasted with ACDC. You can do it, but in that case I stay at most until half past twelve.

Wow. I read that with interest, but I have a completely different attitude. If I invite people, I basically expect them to enjoy themselves and expect nothing in return. That’s the role of a host. That’s what makes a real invitation for me.

We had chosen individual billing instead of a flat rate. Then you can see afterwards on a 50-centimeter receipt that the guests really treated themselves well. And that's fine. It should basically be taken for granted that as a guest you don't just give 20 euros. It's simply a matter of decency. Of course, you can be upset the other way around if you show monetary generosity, maybe even bought new clothes specifically for the occasion, undertake a possibly long journey including a hotel stay – and then experience such loveless hospitality. It is true that it is the wedding day of the bridal couple. But as a guest, I am expected to contribute to a good atmosphere. Unfortunately, I can only do that to a very limited extent if I am served some rubbish and blasted with ACDC. You can do that, but I would stay at most until half past midnight.

I’m a bit disturbed when I read that guests are "expected" to give at least a certain amount. Complete nonsense! Everyone gives what they can and want. We had quite a few guests in their mid-20s, some still studying. Usually, there were only 30-50€ per couple. That was totally fine. It would never have occurred to me to hold anything against them. And yes, the first ones left already around 11 p.m., that was also okay. After all, the ceremony was at 2 p.m., so the day was long. We had a flat rate. Everything was included for 60€ per person, except for schnapps, which we bought ourselves and placed for the guests. They were also served by the staff of the restaurant.

Since you only read half and want to misunderstand the rest (at least that’s the impression I get)

Fortunately, you are wrong twice over. I really always read everything fully and actually try to understand things or people, including you!

The "correct" is not a value judgment.

That definitely implies a value judgment, because it means the other thing would not be (completely) correct or would be flawed – at least that’s the meaning of the word. You probably meant that it feels "correct" to YOU, which is something different.

If, then correctly. Either don’t spend any money at all or do it "properly."

A reader in a similar situation could understand that "correctly" as a value judgment, but I believe you that this was not intended.

Yes, I find it rude to invite people to a wedding and then be completely unhostile or make my guests feel like I want them to be comfortable.

Fortunately, I don’t have such people in my circle, but I also can’t imagine that a couple would deliberately behave rudely toward their guests on their own wedding day or intentionally make them feel uncomfortable. I think it is more about expectations. Many people can’t even make it nice for themselves, so how should they manage it for their guests?

But inviting people, then offering them nothing to drink and/or eat, in a completely bare and cold room, playing a CD player – yes, I think that’s really stupid.

I wouldn’t like that either, but I wouldn’t convince myself that they did such nonsense just to annoy me or be unfriendly to me as a guest. They probably just can’t do it any other way.

And yes, it annoys me that I gave 100 euros as a gift because I felt that was the only thing that mattered to the couple. But you don’t have to understand that, maybe you can’t without knowing the couple.

Okay, I’ve never been to such parties, we are different, and yes, I don’t have to understand everything either.

Giving meal money is normal here and has nothing to do with a return.

I know that custom, but it shouldn’t be called a "gift," because a "gift" in the literal sense has its own meaning and shouldn’t be compared to "meal money." For example, I would even be annoyed about meal money brought along for me, but individual "gifts" please me regardless of their value.

Where the 'getting parents to pay' thing comes from – no idea.

That comes from you having just described me above in a rather expansive and somewhat biting way as a constant opponent of the younger generation. If you knew me, you would know better. I have always lived harmoniously across generations; with us, age and difference do not matter – but everyone is always responsible for their own life. Yes, that is what I advocate – for both old AND young and always in both directions.

Leberkässemmeln are actually a guarantee for a great party.

Well, I had just read the following from you (because I always read everything :D) and let’s just say, despite another "no offense," it doesn’t exactly sound like a "guarantee" or something positive.

(How anyone can manage "relaxed" under 10,000 all in, I don’t know, unless you have 50 guests and there are Leberkässemmeln (no offense) – but I don’t care because it’s not my wedding.)

Are we done now?

I would have been done already, but surely you have more... By the way, I’m not only a repeat offender when it comes to house building and can imagine all sorts of things, expensive and simple. But a wedding is not inherently expensive, as several other people here have explained to you in detail. I only "criticized" that blanket statement.

What pagoni and I said was only referring to: "Sure, for us that’s also correct."

and I’m doing a DNA test tomorrow and will prove to you that is NOT my son; plus the brat constantly has other, totally wrong opinions!!!

You can do that, but I would only stay until half past twelve at most.

If I felt like that, I would be somewhere else after 30 minutes, a waste of life time.

Wow. I read that with interest, but I have a completely different attitude about it. When I invite people, then I basically expect them to enjoy themselves and expect nothing in return. That’s the role of a host. That’s what a real invitation means to me.

yep, such parties run by themselves when nice people meet, no matter what’s on the table, where the music comes from, or who’s wearing sweatpants.

Crazy. I read that with interest, but I have a completely different attitude about it. When I invite people, I basically expect them to enjoy themselves and don't expect anything in return. That's the role of a host. That's what makes a real invitation for me.

Fortunately, most guests are considerate enough to know that the costs for a celebration are not exactly low and must come from somewhere. Of course, everyone is free to give what they want, but I think as a guest you should put a little thought into the chosen amount. If personal financial circumstances don't allow it, okay, but if the Scrooge McDuck of the family indulges shamelessly at the party and then only puts 20 euros into the envelope, you do wonder what that's about.