Feasibility Single-family house - Cost statement / Financing realistic?

With so much black and white on the last pages, you could supply a piano manufacturer for 10 years... ;)

Aren't you from the Lake Constance area? We bought beautiful, high-quality rings from Anna Russo/Singen, 20% cheaper with Messer discount. The photo booth (our only "gimmick," not for us but because some guests enjoy it) only cost 200 euros via Kruu. Photographer for about 7-8 hours = 1020, a great 3-man band (we didn’t want a DJ) for 1350 + 2x food (they played "quietly" during dinner from around 7 p.m. and from dessert it turned into a party until 3 or half past 3 a.m... we had 102 guests + 9 (small) children and the really good menu cost us 6600 euros including drinks (wine, beer, non-alcoholic). Admittedly, we had a small bar in the corner of the hall, there was rum, which we had purchased, it was agreed with the restaurant manager and naturally saved some money since it was well received late at night...

I checked again, all in all we were around 12k, but that included everything (e.g., also donations for the church’s honor guard or tips for the two girls working the bar, etc...). In my opinion, it works very well, with effort, yes, but it works. Gifts, on the other hand, were almost 12k, so basically a break-even game.

We had all sorts of amounts with us - anything from €20 to €100 was possible in the envelopes.
We were equally happy about everything.
I would be annoyed if someone tied the content of a money gift to the lavishness of the celebration. I find that cheeky. You give a gift to make other people happy, and you don’t buy yourself a certain value at a party with it.

No, you don’t buy a value, but you do hope that the couple at least recovers the cost of what was consumed. Honestly, I don’t understand why that should be seen as a negative thing. Where I come from, this is also called “Mahlgeld”; I don’t know it any other way.

my colleague once said weddings are overrated. She went to the registry office with her husband, took a number, submitted the documents, paid €118.99, and 10 minutes later they were unromantically out. They are still married. Saved stress and money, and they still have a few photos.

We did something similar. We secretly got married to avoid the celebration madness. Dressed nicely, went to the registry office with our child, then spontaneously used the lunch menu at a fancy restaurant. And it was simply the most romantic day. The best day was actually the one with the baby on the outside instead of in the belly.

It was clear that if @exto1791 doesn’t do it, you’d feel your toes stepped on at the latest.

Do you really believe that wedding planning of strangers influences my day in any way? o_O ....and why so grumpy just because someone writes a different opinion about it? You apparently suspect that I begrudge you your day, but the opposite is true.

I don’t care at all who gets married, it’s such a subjective decision, just like the question of whether to have a basement or not...

That’s how it should be for everyone – for EVERYONE and therefore also different?
Apparently, though, it’s not quite the same for you, see here:

By the way – my personal highlight was a wedding at the shooting club, there weren’t even tablecloths. But there was a CD player with AC/DC live in the background. Hardly anything could have been less hospitable. That 100 euro guest gift really annoyed me because you got the feeling you were only there to leave money, not because the couple wanted to celebrate with their guests.

You apply your own (understandable) standards to these people. But that day was not about you and your €100, but only about THIS bridal couple with AC/DC and cassette player. What is so inferior about that that it deserves such disdainful remarks from you? Do they have to do it the way the €100 donors want? No, they did it exactly how they want or can.
And yet I read this from you:

I don’t care at all who gets married,

Hmm... apparently it’s not "don’t care at all" after all, at least not if you brought €100 and expected an adequate, pleasing return. A gift only becomes a gift if it is given without expectation of something in return. They celebrated that way, I probably wouldn’t have liked it either, but it’s THEIR day and why in the world should that have been "inhospitable" etc.? Maybe they even found the €100 inhospitable... nonsense, it’s about TOGETHERNESS, so just drop the money!

It has nothing to do with fancy stuff.

And even if it did... you can do that, I can easily imagine crazy things in life, but you just have to pay for it without grumbling. But why is the other then simultaneously "not right" or a silly, unfriendly "highlight"?

Blabla is getting annoying. There are actually people who consciously make their decisions like that, even if it doesn’t fit your worldview.

"Blabla" apparently when different? Wedding is stupid if different... and my experienced wedding world ranges from Hawaiian luxury weddings on a yacht to campfire in the forest, sitting on fallen trees, and I wouldn’t know which I liked better. But that wasn’t the point since I was a GUEST! I just don’t like disparaging or dismissive descriptions, or the notion that something is "right" or not.

You’re the only one who reflexively always comes back to the claim that the entitlement attitude of my generation is just too high –

No, certainly not generally, only when someone (regardless of generation) complains about expensive stuff and wants others (parents etc.) to pay for it, otherwise I think it’s great, especially when young people move things or do special things, clearly you don’t know me well.

It’s worth it to us! If we couldn’t afford it, we wouldn’t do it, it’s that simple.

Then you’re doing exactly the right thing, so why the fuss? The others were at the shooting club – "it’s that simple," so why all the sarcasm?

unless you have 50 guests and there are Leberkässemmeln (no offense)

No no,... "no offense"... but a little disparaging it should be said casually. I’ll just kick you in the knee briefly but... "no offense." You apparently simply can’t imagine that someone can have a great celebration with Leberkässemmeln or similar. Your wedding planning doesn’t bother me in the slightest, I wouldn’t even want money mentioned with it.

But: I’m not criticizing anyone who sees it differently and I have been invited to some very expensive weddings and I can understand that people do that. I see the appeal in it. Personally, it would simply not be worth the money to me.

THAT is probably the most accurate statement and above all finally without any judgment or devaluation. One can be beautiful and the other too, no matter at all or Leberkäse, what it costs!

Since you only read half and want to misunderstand the rest (at least that’s the impression I get, which, as you will surely explain to me in great detail, is probably wrong), here’s a summary again:

The "right" is not a judgment. A beautiful, successful, memorable wedding certainly doesn’t depend on the budget. How one imagines this wedding is subjective. Yes, I find it rude to invite people to a wedding and then be completely inhospitable or make my guests feel like I don’t want them to feel comfortable. In that case, it’s better not to do it at all. No one forces you to celebrate. But inviting people and then offering them no drinks and/or food, in a completely bare and cool room, playing a CD player, yes, I find that really stupid. And yes, it annoyed me to have given 100 euros as a gift because I felt that was the only thing the couple cared about. But you don’t have to understand that, maybe you can’t without knowing the couple. Giving money as a gift is completely normal here and has nothing to do with receiving something in return. Where the parents-have-to-pay thing is coming from again – no idea. Leberkässemmeln are actually a guarantee for a great party. I don’t know how you get the idea that I consider that inferior.

Are we clear now?

Since you only read half and want to misunderstand the rest (at least that’s the impression I get, which, as you will surely explain to me in great detail, is definitely wrong), here’s a summary again: The "right" is not a value judgment. A beautiful, successful, memorable wedding certainly does not depend on the budget. How one envisions this wedding is subjective. Yes, I find it rude to invite people to a wedding and then not be hospitable at all or to give my guests the feeling that I want them to feel comfortable. Then you might as well not have it. No one is forcing you to celebrate. But inviting people, then offering them nothing to drink and/or eat, in a completely bare and cold room, playing a CD player, yes, I find that really stupid. And yes, it annoys me that I gave 100 euros as a gift because I felt it was all the couple cared about. But you don’t have to understand that, maybe you can’t without knowing the couple. Giving money as a gift is quite normal here and has nothing to do with getting something in return. Where the parents-paying-thing comes from again - no idea. Leberkässemmeln are actually a guarantee for a great party. I don’t know why you think I consider that inferior. Got it now?

Well, basically, with your comments "if we do it, we’ll do it right" you meant that a menu that doesn’t cost €5,000, a town hall, and many other things are not right for you. What pagoni and I said was only related to: "sure, for us that’s right too." It never really went beyond that :D It was never about gifts, about parents paying for something, or anything else. It was only about: You can also have a beautiful wedding for €10,000 without having to make major compromises. Also, from my side, it was only meant as tips on how maybe you could spend a bit less money (which surely everyone likes) without having to compromise your personal needs. Ultimately, we just got drawn into one thing after another... typical forum stuff – it was just a little side note. But it doesn’t matter – everyone should celebrate wherever/however they want.