Feasibility Single-family house - Cost statement / Financing realistic?

My colleague once said weddings are overrated. She went to the registry office with her husband, took a number, handed in documents, paid €118.99, and 10 minutes later, unromantic exit. Still married. Saved stress and money, and they also have a few photos

In Las Vegas, they even have it as a drive-through solution, after which you can just drive on to pour the concrete.

You guys are funny – I’m currently planning our wedding with 100 guests.
Should I tell you some current figures?
Inquired at three hotels about a hall: 2x minimum turnover €9,000, once €10,000 (so for "location", food, and drinks) – no luxury places. Just normal country inns.
Asked four photographers: none cheaper than €2,800 for 8 hours.
DJ already booked: €2,000
Decoration for the hall: at least €2,000, probably more
Then there’s the dress, suit, invitations, and all that.
And no, it’s not supposed to be anything "exclusive". It’s similar to building a house. I once thought we could manage quite well with our budget. Reality in booming industries is another story.

In my opinion, this is not a matter of another reality but of today’s explosively growing demands or the possibility of living those out, which one should also recognize for oneself.
If I don’t have the money, I can’t celebrate such an event, it has always been that way, it’s rather a chicken-and-egg principle.
In recent years, we had a few weddings or celebrations in our circle and I see that such a standard "used to be" something quite rare or something for so-called higher earners.
You hear the same thing about building houses, buying cars, vacations, etc. … but you should also see that these words now mostly have different content, namely everyone thinks of cruises, the Caribbean, Seychelles when talking about vacations;
the exclusive has become the standard, THAT is what especially makes it expensive.
Our wedding back then was also not cheap in a hotel, there were monetary gifts from "normal" people, and we handed that pretty much exactly to the hotelier the next morning, so basically a pass-through item.
As with building houses, however, there were clear limits on people, costs, etc., and among friends, we looked for and found cheaper and simpler ways to realize it.
I have no intention of questioning your plans, but in my opinion, it is a widespread issue that the high "standard" often expected these days was simply not considered before.

I read such comparisons or that everything has become extremely more expensive repeatedly, also regarding house building, but at the same time, I see that people talk about completely different things. Our house from 1960 was the simplest possible 90sqm for 2 families and without separate areas, and I see high-tech dream houses from 2020. You cannot and should not compare that, just like other private matters or weddings and such. The TV is full of this and drives expectations to the immense... I was at a wedding in Sweden with a few hundred guests in a large tent on a meadow, pit toilet, guests made music, people cooked, etc… so it’s possible, and those certainly weren’t poor people.
So the Lamborghini was never too expensive for me… because I didn’t buy it. If you only calculate and spend the money you will probably be gifted, the celebration costs you more or less nothing and therefore doesn’t have to be less beautiful.

You are funny - I am currently planning our wedding, with 100 people. Should I give you some current figures? Asked three hotels about a hall: 2x minimum turnover 9,000, once 10,000 (so for "venue", food and drinks) - no luxury places. Normal country inns. Asked four photographers: None cheaper than 2,800 for 8 hours. DJ already booked: 2,000 Decoration for the hall: at least 2,000, rather more So, on top of that there’s dress, suit, invitations, yada yada. And no, it’s not meant to be something "exclusive". It’s similar to building a house. I thought you could get quite a lot done with our budget. The reality is different in booming industries.

We got married 2 years ago - with 50 guests in a hotel for 10k all in for the free ceremony and party. But I have to say we compared quite a bit and the well-known event locations were rather more expensive. Decoration was included as well and we were allowed to choose the flowers ourselves from the florist within a flat rate beforehand ("sampling" would have been more expensive, as you know from building a house ;)). Photographer: hobby photographer who regularly shoots weddings through acquaintances for 500€. DJ: a friend basically did it as a gift. Bridal bouquet: Nearby there is a cemetery florist; the nice saleswoman was really happy to do something for a wedding for once and almost apologized because the bouquet cost 45€.

That was out of the question for me.

Exactly this attitude must be something you can/want to afford.

If, then properly.

Oh God.....I married the wrong person and so have so many others o_O

Either don’t spend any money at all or do it "properly".

Tss tss tss. The young people and their entitlement mentality..... THAT costs money, it was like that back then already, nothing has changed about that.

I have already been to various multipurpose hall or shooting club weddings - no. No.

I have been to various festivities but NEVER has the money spent somehow influenced the success. Money doesn’t win football games and it doesn’t make weddings more beautiful either. It’s not about the shooting club or the Four Seasons...... the simplest things can leave the most lasting impression, romance also exists in poorer surroundings, so it’s possible without exclusive trappings and that’s what it’s about, at least that’s what I thought, silly me. Today I lack a bit of my own imagination, so a great implementation on a limited budget..... also when building a house.

I have been to various festivities but money spent has really NEVER had any impact on the success. Money doesn’t win football games and doesn’t make weddings more beautiful either. It’s not about the shooting range or the Four Seasons....... the simplest things can leave the most lasting impression, romance also exists in poorer surroundings, so it’s possible without exclusive frills and that’s what it’s about, or so I foolishly always thought. Today I’m lacking a bit of my own imagination, so great implementation with a limited budget..... also when building a house.

I completely agree with you. At a wedding, you mainly remember the atmosphere - and sometimes the buffet... Our consideration was: a cheerful, informal yet festive setting that underlines the importance of the occasion and lets our loved ones take part. The analogy to housebuilding also fits here, to stay on topic: first think about HOW you want to live. Then build the house around that and adjust it to the budget.

Exactly this attitude is something you have to be able/want to afford.

Oh god.....I married the wrong person and so did so many other people o_O

tsk tsk. the young folks and their sense of entitlement.....THAT costs money, it was like that back then too, nothing has changed.

I’ve been to various celebrations but NEVER has the money spent somehow affected the success.
Money doesn’t win soccer games and doesn’t make weddings nicer either. It’s not about the shooting club or the Four Seasons.......the simplest things can leave the most lasting impression, there is romance even in poorer surroundings, so it’s possible without exclusive extras and that’s what it’s about, at least that’s what I always thought, silly me.
Today I’m a bit lacking in my own imagination, so great implementation with a limited budget.....also when building a house.

It was clear that if it wasn’t , then you would be the one feeling offended.

I don’t give a damn who marries whom, that’s such a subjective decision, just like the question of whether or not to have a basement...
Although - my personal highlight was a wedding at the shooting club, there weren’t even tablecloths. But there was a CD player with ACDC live in the background. It could hardly have been less guest-friendly. Those 100 euros for a guest gift really annoyed me because you felt like you were actually only there to leave money, not because the wedding couple wanted to celebrate with their guests.

Personally, if I’m already putting at least 10,000 on the table, I want everything to be nice for me (!) That has nothing to do with fancy-pants stuff. Absolutely not. This “nowadays you have to do this or that” blah blah is getting annoying. There actually are people who consciously make their decisions that way, even if that doesn’t fit your worldview.
By the way, I never claimed that a big wedding was cheaper in the past, you are the only one who reflexively always comes back to the idea that my generation’s sense of entitlement is simply too high – although that wasn’t even the topic here! I also didn’t complain that we’ll probably come out at about 20,000 all in, and it’s worth it to us! If we couldn’t afford it, we wouldn’t do it, it’s that simple.
I don’t know what all this again and again is supposed to mean.

(I don’t know how anyone can “easily” come in under 10,000 all in, unless you have 50 guests and serve liver cheese sandwiches (no offense) – but I don’t care because it’s not my wedding.)

my colleague once said weddings are overrated. She and her husband went to the registry office, took a number, handed in documents, paid €118.99, and 10 minutes later came out unromantic. They are still married. Saved stress and money, and they even have a few photos

We were not quite that extreme - especially since the formalities took a lot of time beforehand. We also couldn’t plan anything 100% elaborate because our Higher Regional Court had to decide once more whether we were really allowed to get married - my husband comes from a third country.
So we booked an appointment at the registry office and handed in all the documents - but it only became 100% certain with the decision of the Higher Regional Court that we could also actually use that appointment. That means we invited everyone and added: “it might still be postponed” :D

Otherwise, we chose the budget version everywhere.
My husband bought his suit off the rack from S.Oliver. That was doubly practical because since it wasn’t a wedding suit, he could later wear it for job interviews and other events requiring smart clothing.
I ordered my wedding dress online, I paid €80 for it. For the garden party, we did a lot ourselves. We got a kiddie pool for €5, filled it with cold water, and put drinks in it to keep them cold. I absolutely wanted a candy bar - I used storage jars I already had and filled them myself. And a few paper bags for filling too. I still had those at home. Food was from a caterer around the corner – party platters, schnitzels, etc. That cost a total of €250 for our 40 people. Friends also helped a lot. A friend donated and made the wedding cake herself and decorated it – an amazing piece! Another friend baked something too.
I didn’t want disposable dishes – so we bought the very cheap plates and bowls and cutlery at Ikea. Mostly, I stored the items in a box; you can use them again for bigger parties outside. This added up to €120.
A friend of mine took photos – for the cost price of €80 for gas. I knew him from before, when I once modeled for him. I’m eternally grateful to him, such a price-performance ratio for such high-quality pictures was really great luck.
My former singing teacher played music at the registry office – also on a friendly basis.
For the brunch after the wedding we went to a small café, where my mother paid (she had announced beforehand that she would cover it because my siblings also got something sponsored like that). It was a “gourmet brunch,” looked very delicious, with just close family for around €150. My best friend gave me the bridal bouquet as a gift.
I made most of the decorations myself. Crafted cutlery sets with names, sprayed old glass bottles with metallic spray paint as candle holders. Lots of things like that.
I’m attaching some photos for you.

All in all, we had costs of €1500. I think we came out quite a bit ahead in the end – but that was not intended, I hadn’t expected people to give so generously as gifts for the wedding.