Dowry hunter - Aunt's partner tries to cheat the grandmother

Kaho has now taken on the unpleasant task of interrogating grandma and first finding out to what extent the boyfriend is really manipulating. Finding out what is already secured and how things are settled. You don’t do that over coffee and cake. That takes time.

Honestly. I would use the time more wisely. Namely to clarify with grandma and the care service whether she is doing well or where support is still needed.

Grandma already has care – don’t know exactly how often per week. Should we maybe have that increased?

You simply have the wrong priorities in my opinion.

The nonsense with the boyfriend isn’t important at all if you don’t even know how often grandma receives care.

The fuss about the friend isn’t important at all if you don’t even know how often grandma receives care.

My grandma isn’t demented! She has been deciding that for herself so far. How would you feel if I monitored how often you go to the doctor? These are things you decide yourself and don’t constantly tell everyone about.

That’s exactly it. Everyone immediately thinks of a confused old lady when they hear 97. No! My grandma isn’t crazy. Perhaps a bit gullible – but she was that way even when she was 18.

Somehow the topic here keeps going in circles. And the OP gets all worked up every time, saying she only wants the best for Grandma, while others are taking care of Grandma and the OP only sees it as her trying to swindle the inheritance and feels cheated out of her inheritance. Then there’s this fight about the uncle by marriage because he supposedly tried something in the past, without anyone really knowing what he actually did. Maybe everything was lawful, and the stories were just sugarcoated from person to person. As already said, the fact is that the man and his wife are taking care of the old lady, while the OP “screwed off” to the other end of Germany. (It’s rather unlikely that Grandma + relatives moved away). Ultimately, no one here can help you and you probably won’t hear what you want to hear. The story is just too controversial and we are not really informed. And as someone already wrote, we only know one side of the story. And especially in family stories like this, it’s essential to hear the other side, because there’s guaranteed to be some embellishment. That’s how family disputes are, you have to make a huge deal out of nothing so that others will even listen. From a “grandpa always grills so badly the sausage gets burnt” quickly turns into an animal abuser, scrounger, abuses Grandma, etc... just so someone pays attention... that’s just how it is...

A very interesting thread. I have read in from time to time. Interesting what all happens when there is something to inherit. And I don't just mean the evil uncle. I'm glad Grandpa only has a modest fortune and my mom and my aunt are not fighting over €25k now. Grandpa cares most about the allotment garden - but no one wants to take it over because it's too much work

Somehow the topic here is really going around in circles.

Yes, hardly understandable for outsiders. Actually, I already have all the info anyway. In that respect, it’s just nice entertainment now. Then I can still badmouth him a bit and tell a few stories... For example, when my grandpa was still alive, he invited the whole family to his 90th birthday. He had picked out a hotel and booked rooms for us. As a highlight, he paid for all the hotel rooms, it was a crazy expense – he really wanted that. Of course also for my aunt and her boyfriend. But he then decided to sleep at home instead – it’s not that far from them. Since they didn’t use any hotel rooms, the guy asked my grandpa if he could please pay him the money for the room. My grandpa, completely taken aback and no longer the quickest-witted at 90, gave him the money. Afterwards, he was really annoyed about it.

That's the thing. Everyone always thinks of a confused old lady when they hear 97. No! My grandma isn't daft. Maybe a little gullible - but she was even at 18.

No, I don't suspect anything. But if you're 500km away, you simply can't properly assess what’s really going on.

My grandma isn’t stupid! She has decided that for herself so far. How would you feel if I monitored how often you go to the doctor? Those are things you decide for yourself and don't constantly talk about.

I would take care of grandma’s wellbeing. That has nothing to do with surveillance. But if you don’t even talk about every day things, then I wouldn’t bother her with the big issues of this world either.

That was a crazy expense - he wanted it badly.

The last shirt has no pockets. But apparently these monetary things are quite important to you in your relationship with your grandparents.