Do not receive offers/quotes

To me, it sounds like (or rather reads as) you already want a price offer during the trial phase. You have neither selected whether the construction service description suits you, nor the philosophy of the construction company. You roam arbitrarily with definitive expectations from company to company, without any conversation having taken place. Why should the company put effort into something now when roughly everything is visible on the homepage anyway and the customer will probably drop out? Maybe I’m exaggerating in my imagination, but I have searched myself before: Sent catalogs with price attachments or/and used the internet as help. Called and emailed 3-5 companies about a building structure and finally visited the one remaining for a personal meeting and then submitted the plan for special equipment. Maybe another one would have come up with the same price but built me 10 sqm more? Doesn’t matter, because my gut feeling must tell me that I am well and right with exactly this company. That’s why rough estimates are enough to compare for a standard house – which you haven’t done yet.

My opinion!

Here one is somehow pretty quickly dismissed as an annoying customer, unpleasant in demeanor, too demanding, etc.

I have even created tables to compare sections of various construction service descriptions. We have visited model home exhibitions, a local fair, toured houses, talked with acquaintances and friends, created floor plans, studied the websites of various providers, read construction blogs, ordered catalogs. We have also held conversations. Based on these, 3 offers were made. I have offers from three companies, two of which I don’t like at all, but that is too few to make a well-founded decision. I don’t understand why this should be considered so improper. We didn’t pursue one provider further because he wanted to pressure us into signing a contract. One, with whom we had a really good conversation, never presented us an offer, cost estimate, price quote, or a calculated reference house as described. We were kept waiting for weeks until we gave up. If he doesn’t want to build with us, he can just say, “Sorry, but this won’t work.” But simply leaving us out in the rain like that can’t be normal. And if we’re not even invited to meetings elsewhere, it’s hard to prove to them that we are serious.

Here, one somehow quickly gets dismissed as an annoying customer, unpleasant in demeanor, too demanding, etc.

I even created tables to compare sections of different construction service descriptions. We visited model home exhibitions, a local fair, toured houses, talked with acquaintances and friends, created floor plans, studied the websites of various providers, read construction blogs, ordered catalogs. We also held discussions. Based on those, three offers were made. I have offers from three companies, two of which I do not like at all, but not enough to make a well-founded decision. I don’t understand why that should be so objectionable. We did not pursue one provider further because he wanted to pressure us into signing a contract. One, with whom we had a really good conversation, as described, never presented us with an offer or cost estimate, or a cost calculation, or a calculated reference house. We were kept waiting for weeks until we gave up. If he does not want to build with us, he could simply say "Sorry, but this won’t work." But just leaving us out in the rain like that can't be normal. And if with others we are not even invited to meetings, it’s hard to prove to them that we are serious.

Maybe you are also a client who, like us, should try their luck with an independent architect. One could, for example, find such a person through good references in the circle of friends and acquaintances.

Yes, maybe we ultimately have to do it that way.

You are not quickly dismissed here as an annoying customer with an unpleasant demeanor. You often – unusually – do not receive concrete offers or are strung along. This circumstance is initially indeed very noticeable, and you rightly wonder why this might be the case for you.

Now, of course, it is theoretically possible that you just have bad luck and that is why it doesn’t really work out. But even that would be somewhat unusual, since providers want to make money, almost regardless of with whom this can be achieved.

The critical look at one’s own demeanor should only be an incentive to question oneself here. But this very reaction shows me that this critical self-questioning is not wanted at all and that a consideration of one’s own approach therefore does not take place. Instead, outrage is expressed.

The fact is that you are apparently not successful in gaining offers and your addressees obviously prefer to forego doing business with you, although they probably have little objection to making money.

I keep all available fingers crossed for you in selecting an architect, because these circumstances could repeat themselves similarly there.

In my first post I wrote:

Isn't it normal to present your idea and in return be told roughly what costs to expect or whether it is feasible with the desired budget?

The response was:

You are asking for quite a lot of work.

I do find it indeed outrageous that this is considered too much to ask for when one wants to build a house.
Then I describe that we have two offers, whereby the first provider did not sufficiently address our wishes and we don't like the materials and fittings used by the second. I was then accused of having already "burned" two companies and was advised to choose one of the two companies. I also find this quite inappropriate.

Of course, we have certainly made mistakes as well. At first, we submitted a floor plan which we later did not present anymore because it soon became clear that the first one was unnecessarily large and planned with unnecessarily costly extras. As inexperienced builders you basically have no clue at first. But now we always start from the revised floor plan and are looking for an offer for that one, preferably from a local provider.
At some point, out of desperation, I sent about 5 emails in a row in which I first only inquired whether the respective providers would even build in our region and whether they could estimate the costs for a single-family house with the key data given in the first post. That was certainly a mistake. But, as I said, I was desperate because we were not making progress.
Ok, our approach could also be totally off. I thought about it (just haven't written those thoughts down here) and can't figure out what might be so off-putting about us. We are quite young, both in our early 30s, my voice unfortunately makes me sound even younger. We don't have children yet. Maybe that is why they don't take us seriously. But there is not much I can do about that.
By the way, I had a phone call yesterday (which initially sounded very disinterested on the other end again) and then quickly mentioned that we already have a plot. Suddenly the interest noticeably changed.
So I guess the construction companies are indeed very busy and therefore do not actively compete for customers. Maybe mentioning the plot as soon as possible helps it work better now. Or perhaps we will decide on assigning the trades separately.

I thank you all anyway for your advice and would wish that construction companies at least ask questions if they are not sure whether someone is serious. Simply everything they need to know to make sure that it is actually a potential customer and not a prank inquiry.

That is exactly the problem... the boundary between a "joking question," let's rather call it an unspecific inquiry, and having a finished plan in hand along the lines of "what does the house cost us" is fluid.

And even if you come around with a finished and approved design from an architect, it still does not automatically lead to joy and jumping for joy.

I have also never demanded to immediately take one of the two providers. But since you yourselves had no interest in these companies, they clearly have dropped out (been burned).

For the cost calculation of an approved house, such a company also needs a day... including incidental costs, that's easily an investment of 1000 euros. If you do that 10 times without a contract, the 11th customer must already generate 10,000 euros in profit just to be able to work at cost coverage.

It is only understandable that one does not want to invest too much time (money) for free.

One has to move away from the standpoint that this is about long-term customer retention (like, for example, in insurance, banks, or also Vorwerk representatives). Retail is also much more active in trying to win customers, but here only provides CRS communication modules to keep the (advertising) costs relatively low. The only solution is to address a broad mass, and in housebuilding, that is hardly possible.