Assessment of Financing New Construction 425k € / Overall Financial Situation

Diapers cost about 25 euros per month (with 6-7 pieces per day). Without clothing and toys, we were at about 50 euros in the first 5 months (changing mat, washcloth, almond oil, creams, etc.). In the 6th month, with baby food jars or homemade food, about 80 euros total. Clothing and toys are too individual and do not always have to be bought new. The rest of the 219 euros in child benefits was saved (ETF) or invested in clothing. I can still understand daycare etc. as an argument for costs, but certainly not diapers.

If you have to watch every cent, diapers hit hard too. And the diaper rash cream and the x pacifiers that you try out until the child finally keeps one in their mouth. I have already seen harmonious couples argue insanely over a café to go cup found in the trash in front of the child. Children are often a reason for separation, house building too. One should not unnecessarily escalate by overestimating one’s own contributions and budget.

The financial additional burden will then rather really hit when it goes to kindergarten.

Nope, the additional burden will really hit immediately from birth, since there are only 65% * 2000€ net for your wife. And even worse if you haven’t found a care option immediately after the first year. Anyway, before completing the construction, hopefully no child should be seriously planned or desired. After all, you want to contribute your own work.

Nope, the additional burden will immediately have a real impact from birth, since your wife only receives 65% * €2000 net. And even worse if you don't find a childcare option right after the first year.

Anyway, hopefully no child should be planned or wanted seriously before the completion of the construction. After all, you want to contribute your own labor.

Cost-wise, of course, I mean.

No, absolutely not. The plan is: one thing at a time.

If you have to turn over every cent, then diapers hit hard too. And the diaper cream and the x pacifiers you test until the child finally wants to keep one in their mouth. I've seen harmonious couples go crazy arguing over a café to go cup found in the trash in front of the child. Children are often a reason for separation, house building too. You shouldn't unnecessarily worsen things by being too optimistic about your own contributions and your budget.

As long as you don't count the child benefit in the financing, there is no reason to argue when you get 219 euros and diaper costs are 25 euros. Whatever. Make the house smaller. Build in a buffer (which is needed anyway) and assume that every euro in the next 2-5 years will flow into the house.

The question is also what kind of credit we could generally afford if it is not supposed to be completely tight.

In the conversation with the bank, there was at least no grumbling about the initially requested €400,000 (the desire to have children and the salary reduction to €2,400 had already been communicated), and I was somewhat surprised by the very clear reactions here. But I was probably too naive. Of course, I know the bank wants to lend out its money, but they don’t lend it to everyone in unlimited amounts. They also want to see it again plus interest.

As a rule of thumb:
Monthly income times 100-110x as loan amount and/or not much more than 30% of net income as monthly housing cost is considered healthy by most.