How much repayment is advisable for how much net income?

I also warn against calculating with 75% part-time. Very few women want/can do that once a child is there. And then a whole part falls away again due to childcare.

We currently have for 2 adults + 2 children my salary (about €3,000) as well as child benefit and state childcare allowance (€200), plus my wife's mini-job €160 available.

For house etc., we pay almost exactly €1,000 per month, we do not live badly with it but after deducting all costs you have to see where you end up at the end of the month. Otherwise, we have 2 cars that need to be maintained (countryside).

Vacations are possible now and then, but only after longer saving. However, we consciously allow ourselves the luxury of not having to send my wife to work (only 4 hours/week). We gladly forego one thing or another for that, time with the children is precious.

Set the house rate as flexibly as possible during the time with children so that you can adjust the payment if necessary. Both upwards and downwards.

why shouldn't they be able to calculate with that? If they aim for 75% and the employer makes that possible, then they will do it that way. I will go back to full-time work after number 2 after 10 months. That even has to be the case, otherwise the loan will be tight. It is probably known that the attitude towards the job changes for many women with the birth, but if money is involved, there is no choice and she will work enough to make it suffice. What you have to pay for a full-day place in the daycare center can already be found out now. Otherwise, children don't cost huge amounts nowadays either. Pampers aren't that expensive either and eventually they will be dry. Toys, clothes and equipment, furniture can be obtained used in excellent condition for the little ones. The rest is often covered by the relatives.

You are exactly addressing the reason why I wrote that! Everyone can handle it however they want, but personally, I do not want to subject the children to all-day care after 10 months. Even if that corresponds to the modern image - children always have it best at home, especially very young ones.

You are welcome to do it that way, but many women simply do not want that. And that is difficult to say in advance! Of course, one has to work for a house, usually both. But the children should not be the ones who suffer.

You are exactly addressing the reason why I wrote that! Everyone can handle it as they want, but personally I don’t want to subject children to full-day care after 10 months. Even if that corresponds to the modern image – children still have it best at home, especially very young ones.

You can gladly do it that way, but many women simply do not want that. And that is difficult to say beforehand! Of course, you have to work for a house, usually both. But the children should not be the ones to suffer.

Of course many women would like to do it differently. But here it’s not about what one wants, but what one must/can do.
That’s the balance: do I allow myself/my wife part-time over a possibly very long period and do without the house construction because of money, or do I build the house and bite the bullet and allow only limited part-time or none at all.

For us, it would also have been a matter of weighing things up. We then came to the conclusion that we all benefit more from our house than I would from time with the child if I reduced my hours by a few. So far it has fit perfectly for us. Our son loves the house and the mud pit in the garden. I could never have offered him that in our rented apartment in the middle of Gelsenkirchen.

That's exactly the point! I believe almost every woman imagined balancing job and family differently/easier somehow. I actually don't know anyone for whom it wasn't like that.

I have always liked working a lot and never thought my focus would change like this. You just don't know that beforehand.

I am glad that we have the possibility that one works less and as a result, everyone benefits from more family life.

Of course many women would like to do it differently. But here it’s not about wanting, but about having to/can.
It’s the balance, do I allow myself/my wife to work part-time over a possibly very long period and forego building a house because of money, or do I build the house and bite the bullet and allow only limited part-time or none at all.

For us, it would also have been a balance. We then came to the conclusion that we all benefit more from our house than I would from the child if I had reduced my hours for a few. So far it has worked perfectly for us. Our son loves the house and the mud pit in the garden. I could never have offered him that in our rented apartment in the middle of Gelsenkirchen.

That’s great! Everyone really has to do what they think is right, can/must, or want!
But many who don’t have children yet simply misjudge it.
And that is simply a pity when you would actually like to spend more time with the children, but financially it’s not possible.