How much repayment is advisable for how much net income?

It should have continued, but unfortunately I got kicked out.

Sometimes I wonder how you yourselves were during your storm and stress years? Or did you not have those at all? [emoji6]

I can still remember mine very well. I didn't have such wishes, but my father always gave me some pocket money on his own initiative. In my modesty, I saved everything, so I had good equity for building a house.
But not everyone is like that [emoji6]
You can't always shape children the way you want.

I was actually easy to care for. But that was also because I knew my parents had to work hard for their money.

- There was no pocket money
- No expensive hobbies
- Gifts only for birthdays or Christmas. Not like today additionally Easter, Pentecost, Halloween, St. Nicholas, etc.
- No money as a reward for good grades
- Disco only from age 18
- and so on.

But if I needed something necessary, I almost always got it.
Starting from 11th grade, I stocked shelves at Edeka. So that I could afford a driver's license and a car afterwards.

Times just change, depending on the background.

I don't expect anything from my children that I haven't done myself.

For me, there is a certain limitation here. Our kids are allowed to choose a hobby or an "activity," but they have to stick with it. Swimming and piano today - drums and rugby tomorrow, we don't go along with that because this way no "perseverance" is surely trained. The phases of enduring frustration and continuing to practice shape the character in a positive sense.

I agree with you 109%.

To the actual question:

Our income, M: €2600 net, W: €2100 net
Child 7: €194 child benefit (is not included anywhere and has not been touched for 3 years)

Monthly installment for the house: €1047 = 5% repayment
Approximately 23% of our monthly income therefore goes towards the house.

So far (financing has been running for 2 years) made 2x €5000 special repayments.

I have not finished reading yet, but I want to comment on this:

You are exactly addressing why I wrote this! Everyone can handle it as they want, but personally I do not want to subject children to full-day care after 10 months. Even if that fits the modern image – children are still best off at home, especially very young ones.

You can do it that way, but many women simply do not want that. And that is hard to say in advance! Of course, you have to work for a house, usually both. But the children should not be the ones who suffer.

Thank you, I find that very important. That you leave yourself the possibility to have a choice. I would break down if I had to give my children away at one year old. Because it just does not suit me at all and therefore not our children either. You can hardly estimate beforehand, because you become parents for the first time and the associated feelings/wishes mostly only come into the world together with the child.

We prefer to limit ourselves and thus have the possibility that I only work a few hours, but do further training on weekends so as not to be "out."

So, to the question: We had a monthly mortgage payment of 1060 euros with two children, with an income depending on the situation between 3000 and 4500 euros net together including child benefit. That always worked. Sometimes we had to tighten our belts, but it worked. And honestly, that is about the average for all of Germany. Many have less, right?

Now we have 5 children and are building a house. My husband’s income including child benefit: 5800 euros net. My income (currently working only 6 hours per week): 450 euros plus parental allowance plus childcare subsidy from the employer.

Together about 7000 euros for 7 people. We pay 1660 euros mortgage, or at the moment not yet, but we set aside the amount monthly because it has to work from autumn and this way we can already “get used to it” a bit.

It works, but we can’t make huge steps either, because a lot of money is already “gone” for the children. But we mostly buy organic, wool clothing (since a baby overall can easily cost 90 euros instead of 5 euros at Kik), barefoot shoes for everyone, etc. Also private school and two cars with 7 and 8 seats. And suddenly you don’t fly on vacation anymore but go camping with a caravan. Which we luckily love...

You just have to look very carefully at what is important to you and what you want to afford.

If I ever work more than 6 hours a week again, we can luckily save more again. At the moment we only make about 300 to 500 euros in savings per month, which I think is actually too little for us.

We amortize at 2.6%, whereby after 10 years the rate will be 600 euros lower per month. If the children then cost a lot during their studies, we can absorb that well. Otherwise, we simply continue to pay the high rate.

I think most people writing here in the forum are high earners. When I look around in my (educated) circle of acquaintances, most don’t earn that well and many families live with 3000-3500 euros for four people. With their own home.

If I haven't miscalculated, about 27% of our income from non-self-employment currently goes towards repayment (slightly increasing trend, since interest decreases but the rate remains constant). The cumulative repayment rate across both loans was about 5.7% at the beginning. That means we will be done fairly quickly with this property. There are two of us, and we both work full-time. If children are involved, of course the calculation looks different. I think about one-third of the income for repayment is a benchmark that should only be exceeded temporarily in certain phases of life if there is still room left to live despite the property.