How much house is in it?

And then I would also be a full-time mom for the first few years (at least until Junior goes to kindergarten - and then I would work 50% in the mornings to be there again in the afternoons).

Are there even enough daycare spots where you live? In many areas, the situation is currently quite precarious.

By the way, home office does not mean taking care of a child "on the side." That goes wrong very quickly.

Home office works well to eliminate commuting time. But otherwise, having a child at home and working from home (when you also have meetings) quickly becomes very difficult.

Especially until the children reach a certain age. Ours is now 6; that’s when it slowly starts to be that he doesn’t really require full attention for almost an hour.

Children and home office in the classic sense of "working" doesn't work. I have three children myself and have been doing home office 1-2 times a week for years.

If you have a 90km commute to work, you will look for another job anyway if you have children. When do you want to drop off the child in the morning, at 5:30 am? Then you get up around 4:00 am every day. Happy Consulting.

Well, after so many pages of warnings about all kinds of pitfalls, you can stop warning now. The most important thing when building a house is that the relationship does not go down the drain and that both keep an eye on the costs. Katastrophy will hopefully make the right decisions with her partner. She certainly shouldn’t be naive anymore after your (mostly accurate) warnings. Building a house is demanding depending on the amount of personal effort and is probably (still) more manageable without children (timewise and financially). At least, that’s what I see with our boys and their friends who are also building in different family situations.

Then let's touch on another topic. How should it be built, with a property developer or a general contractor? How expensive are the plots of land for you? How big should the house be?

I would be interested in that too!

Okay, then the first year of parental leave and then half-day care until kindergarten and a 50% job just have to work out. Anyway, somehow it works. My fiancé’s parents also paid off a house for 500,000 Marks and raised 2 kids on the side. And they never lacked anything. And please, no “500,000 Marks are 250,000 Euros today” – we all know that was converted 1:1. Interest rates back then were many times worse.

Regarding the presentation of the house/plot:

Plot: 155,000€ (purchase incidental costs 7% = 10,850€)
On the plot there is a house with a basement, 100 sqm of living space, and a garage, both from the 60s.
We are calculating with demolition costs of about 25,000€ (more if asbestos was used – can I roughly add about 5,000€ more as a guideline? Does anyone have experience with this?)
We are still not sure at all whether we want to use the existing basement hole for a partial basement (50 sqm?) or if we would have it filled in for a slab foundation.
All prefab house providers say that the corresponding insulation values can only be maintained with their own factory-built basements, but those are ridiculously expensive for prefab builders and I really have little desire to pay 40,000€ just for a basement...

We are also undecided whether we want to build a garage or a carport. If it’s the basement, I would go with the carport, and if it’s no basement, I tend to a larger garage for the extra storage space (lawnmower and stuff). Prefabricated double garages are available from non-prefab house builders for about 15,000€ (a friend built one), which would be acceptable. In my opinion also the better choice than a basement and carport, since I would lower my car insurance and wouldn’t have to scrape windows anymore.

For the outdoor area I had calculated about 25,000€ (2,000€ for the terrace and roughly 20,000€ for a cat-proof complete fencing) – the garage I already included above and we will build our desired pond ourselves sometime, maybe we’ll have the demolition company excavate a pit for it.

Regarding the house:
We would like to do this with a prefab house builder. We are still undecided between Hanse Haus and Fingerhaus. With the latter, especially the chemistry with the salesperson fits incredibly well and they have a lot included as standard that Hanse for example charges extra for. However, we really like Hanse’s implementation of the smart home concept and we like the approach of cable ducts in the walls, through which you can later run additional cables yourself if needed.
Anyway, 160-180 sqm would be nice (I tend more to 160, my fiancé to 180 sqm). The floor plan with 180 sqm is just “nicer,” but it also means more cleaning work.
We would do the filler and painting work completely ourselves, but not the floor (because with underfloor heating everywhere we can have tiles). And I really hate tiling, it just doesn’t look nice and clean when I do it. And my husband is way too clumsy anyway – half the tile grout would stick to the wall later...
Therefore, I am calculating with the standard equipment of a corresponding house at 289,000€ plus 5,000€ for special equipment. Baunebenkosten (additional building costs) still about 40,000€

We would also like to install a photovoltaic system and smart home to at least partially recoup the costs of the air-water heat pump and be more independent of electricity prices. We are calculating about 25,000€ for this.

All in all, we come to 579,000€ + purchase incidental costs of 10,850€ = 589,850€

With a financing of 555,000€ from the bank, we would have 34,850€ of equity in this rough calculation.

More if there is asbestos and the kitchen also still needs to be included. Then we would be quite close to the 50k we should have saved by then. With a buffer, it will be tight.

BUT: fencing, prefabricated garage (and possibly photovoltaic) would only be tackled after the house construction, so these items could be postponed if necessary.

I would like to read and especially see more about the property than just always hearing about the "children's trauma."

What exactly do you want for a house? You have already mentioned quite a bit in your member thread. Unfortunately, that rather confuses me. What exactly is a pen & paper adventure and why does it need its own room? Can't you play that at the big dining table – meaning in the living room?

An extra workshop would significantly increase the space. That makes things expensive – since it takes up space. Do you already have ideas about what it should look like?