Dowry hunter - Aunt's partner tries to cheat the grandmother

Hi, we have a black sheep in the family. He is my aunt's partner. They have been living together for many years, and over the years we have had many bad experiences with him.

A few years ago, he pulled a stunt again. When my grandpa passed away, my grandma naturally inherited the house alone. After that, he persuaded her to go to the notary with him to change the will. We (my sister and I are now each 25% heirs after the death of my mother) were supposed to be settled with 10,000 euros. Only thanks to the clever notary did this not happen. She rejected the process as illegal.

Now my grandma is 97 years old. She is mentally fully fit, walks around and lives peacefully in her house. Recently, voices from the party have been claiming that grandma is already so frail and not quite clear in her mind. That is of course a lie, we visited her, everything is as usual. Therefore, we are worried that they want to have grandma declared legally incapacitated and put into a nursing home in order to get her house. That would be a disaster for grandma!

Unfortunately, they live much closer to grandma and visit her every week. We are 500 km away. Of course, we have told grandma that she should not sell her house and move into a nursing home. She clearly does not want that either; her sister (95 – hard to believe) is there and she does not like it. But my aunt’s partner is a pig and my aunt always sides with him. I suspect him of anything. What can we do?

Also, the question is, what happens when grandma really dies? How can we make sure that a possible sale of the house is carried out fairly?

First of all, one should know what the will says before philosophizing about it.

Secondly, living in a retirement home does not automatically mean being legally incapacitated. However, I can imagine that someone who is 97 may still be mentally fit and able to take care of themselves, but managing the house, household, shopping, and doctor visits with only once-weekly support is simply not enough. Also, the aunt is probably over 70, so it’s likely not easy for her anymore.

When Grandma dies and you form a community of heirs, you cannot simply sell the house without each other. That’s at least something I would worry about. What is more likely to disappear quickly are the small valuables in the house (expensive jewelry, Meissen porcelain, etc.) that no one suspects, or the money under the mattress.

By the way, one should not underestimate the effort involved in care and support. I find it presumptuous if someone lives 500 km away and only shows up every six months, then suddenly wants to claim half, or in your case, 25%. So be fair to each other and also acknowledge the aunt’s efforts.

Just as a counterexample: My great-grandmother always gave money gifts unfairly to her two grandchildren. There was no valid reason for this. Therefore, the gifts were thrown into a big pot and distributed evenly (mostly passed on equally to us great-grandchildren). That’s also a way it can go.

Hats off Musketier. And let's be honest, the distribution battle begins or what do you have to do with Grandma's house? First, your aunt and your mother inherit, not the grandchildren (you). I'm not so familiar with inheritance either, but I believe gifts can no longer be revoked?

My aunt does not take care of my grandma! How do you come up with that? She just drops by sometimes to chat, and they always get fed by grandma.

Hats off Musketier. And let's be honest, the battle for distribution is starting, or what do you have to do with grandma's house? Initially, your aunt and your mother inherit, not the grandchildren (you). I'm not very familiar with inheritance either, but I believe you can't undo gifts either?

My mother is dead - you insensitive fools.

Hello,
I think this is actually not the right forum for this question.
But just this much: without consent, your grandma cannot be placed in a nursing home. The only "danger" I see is that she might be persuaded. And even then, the money from selling a house belongs to your grandma and does not automatically go to the heirs. And since a nursing home is very expensive, it may be that your grandma has to co-finance the nursing home with that money. So that would possibly not be a smart move by the "inheritance snatchers."
Maybe your grandma can also appoint you to make decisions about her affairs if she is no longer able to do so herself. But then you must also fulfill that responsibility.

Did your grandparents have a [Berliner Testament] ([Ehegattentestament])? The normal inheritance order would be: after one partner dies, 50% goes to the surviving partner and the other 50% is divided among the children (the share of any deceased children goes to their children).